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Went to the grocery store today to pick up some carrots, and noticed that lots of things have these new rectangular tags in calming, organic greens and brown earth-tones. The store touts this advertising campaign information program, called "Simple Nutrition," as a new way of understanding what you're buying, and they all read things like "Organic," "Gluten Free," "Sodium Smart," "Natural," "Lean Protein," etc.

I propose they add two:

Onions, milk, yogurt, real peanut butter, steak, potatoes, broccoli, eggs, cheese, sauerkraut, walnuts, coffee, sugar, sour cream, kimchee, chicken, grapefruit, apples, celery, wine, carrots, beans, rice.


Doritos, most grocery bread, cheetoes, most breakfast cereals, instant rice, instant potatoes, instant anything, canned soups, anything labeled a "frozen novelty," anything labeled a "snack," and anything that feels compelled to tout on its cover just how healthy it is.
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Defiled
Speaking of Abercrombie & Fitch, I have to say that the latest collection of waifs, male and female, at the Abercrombie and Fitch store near the office really bug me. They're not just so beautiful, but so young. And this picture especially bugs me. She looks like she's about to tell a social worker how her stepfather hit and raped her. Those flat, hollow eyes and that big, almost inflamed mouth, as she tries to cover herself up-- it's a very creepy image.
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From the "Reborn to be Alive" organ donation campaign in The Netherlands.
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It's only 14 seconds long, a snipped from the TV show CSI:



"I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic; see if I can track an IP address."

Man, I hope Microsoft gets their money's worth out of that gut-twistingly bad piece of dialogue. For my money, maybe looking at the fucking router table might make you a more effective moron. Something like:
# ip route show
You know, actually doing your job and catching the killer rather than wasting your time prettying it up with that child's plaything.

[Hat tip: Omaha]
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Fowin Cucumber ad
Every once in a while I stumble upon just the weirdest stuff when trying to keep up with the industry in which I find myself. Along the lines of contemplating weirdness, I found these three print/poster advertisements for The Fowin "Sexual Enhancement Ring." The theme of all three is the same: a woman finds herself in a sexually suggestive, half-dressed state of startlement as a man is seen walking into her room, and around the corner is a long, hard, large fruit or vegetable. This one is the "cucumber" ad, but if you follow the link you'll also see the eggplant and banana ads as well.

Who the hell puts this much money into an ad for a disposable cock ring? I'm especially entertained by the sales mark, "Get Her Back," suggesting that any man with erection problems is about to lose his hot, sexy wife to certain vegetables and fruits.

Still, fun in a twisted sort of way.
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I'm not sure what to make of this ad. It's very NSFW, for one thing. Compared to the absolutely delightful French 2007 Campaign with its gorgeous animation and well-chosen music, or the hot Swiss 2006 Campaign which featured incredibly buff hockey players and Olympic fencers doing it in the nude, this current ad is more than a nightmare.



Oh, and let us not forget the Bug Posters from 2004, or the French 2008 Explore campaign.
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I might be a mad scientist, I might even be a megalomaniac, but this, this, is so evil even I wouldn't do it.

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Elf Sternberg

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