Musings on Threesomes

[elfs]

So, I've been thinking. About sex. Mostly about the threesome I participated in last week and why there wasn't much to write about when all is said and done.

The more I think about it, the stronger becomes my conviction that threesomes aren't all that much fun. I mean, the two people I were with were both wonderful people, and I've had sex with each one alone, and I think I much prefer that to the combination of all three.

I might have liked it better if we were there with a purpose other than to get messy and get down. If it were all about her, or all about him, or even all about me, I would have know what I was doing. But instead I just kept going back and forth between them, wanting more of each of them and never quite getting enough before the triangle of bodies re-arranged itself into some new configuration. There was one time while they were have intercourse where I kept wondering, "Now, what do I do?"

I went back through Google groups and find my comments remarkably uniform: I've done the hot-bi-babe thing, got my merit badge, thank you, and I've never really enjoyed it. In bed, I tend to be somewhat toppish. I like doing things. I don't enjoy just being done all that much. So a spontaneous threesome without any real structure is just frustrating to me. I'd rather do twosomes.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I had a blast. I'd almost forgotten how much I love giving head to a man. But given a choice, I'd rather have each of them separately.

Still, if they invite me again, I won't refuse. I just have my preferences.

Comments

[jenk]

I kept wondering, "Now, what do I do?"

Heh.

One of the beauties of bottoming is that I don't have that wonder much. If I'm told to give head, or whatever, I do. If my hands are tied and something's being done to me, I can just focus on that. It's nice.

[nitoda]

As a submissive myself I absolutely agree with you - living in a triad, we still tend to have sex by the two, not by the three ... and often I will get up to make a cup of tea while they enjoy each other on a weekend morning! I'm perfectly happy in a 3-some when I know what is expected of me ... but our other partner insists she isn't into bdsm while being very particular about what she does and doesn't like and very dominant in other ways. We call her our vanilla domme :-)

[jenkitty.livejournal.com]

That sounds awfully confusing, going back and forth between. Wouldn't it be easier to tag-team one? I mean, if it wasn't a one-shot thing, you don't have to do everything all the time, do you? I have a couple I threesome with on a semiregular basis, and the ladies tend to tag-team the gentleman, then bounce each other... he could join in the second part, if he wanted...

*chuckles* Maybe a foursome would be easier; then you can just swap and swap again.

[jenk]

I think part of why we tend to work out is we have a bit of the same attitude - pile on one, then another, then another...repeat as desired ;)

Consistency...

[j5nn5r.livejournal.com]

You are consistent and honest with yourself. I remember you telling me this exact same thing about eight years ago.

[miraclemax.livejournal.com]

I agree about 3somes. Personally, I prefer 4somes, because it seems someone always feels a little left out in a 3some - they're very difficult to arrange for other results. I think it works best if turns are taken, ie - one person at a time is the center of the universe. One issue that I've had is that if I'm focused on someone who is focused on someone else, then it just ends up being a distraction, so the chaining thing rarely works well (it's like a 69, only worse, LOL).

[kyriani.livejournal.com]

I hear you... I like threesomes a lot, but they can be awkward in most circumstances. I am, in everything, a switch, but I generally end up being the top at least most of the time in most of the threesomes I have been in (wheeee generalizations! hehe). All depends on the people. ^_^ I do agree, I prefer if there is some purpose for the get-together, so that it is easier to define (and then break) roles. ;) But in those circumstances, I highly prefer threesomes to twosomes, I love the energy and interplay and longevity. But just my personal preference (hopefully someday I will get to be in a threesome again). ^_^

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

I find I like threesomes best when everyone gets to have a turn being pounced on by the others. There's a kind of bonding that happens between two people who are working together to cause happy noises in someone that they both care about, that I enjoy a whole lot. You might say it makes the shared pleasure 3-dimensional and delightfully complex.

The one kind of threesome I haven't enjoyed as much is the kind where the people I'm with aren't interested in each other. Under those circumstances I find myself going back and forth between the 2 as you described, and I feel like I'm not able to give either one of them the level of attention they deserve. It also tends to get overwhelming for me, because I end up being the focus of attention a lot more than normal.

"Clean cup! Move down!"

[kenshardik]

I've had a handful (no pun intended) of >2somes, and for the most part odd numbers of people eventually led to an "odd person out" for at least part of the activities (once by someone announcing, "I wanna watch people fuck," which got the replies, "Dude, I'll fuck," from one girl and "Someone hand me a condom," from me - *sniff* "Memories... like the corners of my miiiiind...."). Come to think of it, I don't know if I've been in any even-numbered >2somes that weren't hampered by stipulations (e.g. the girls can do each other, the guys don't wanna do each other, and there's only so much one of the girls will do with each guy, etc.).

I'd like to think that a 4some or 2n-some (for n>1 - Goddess, I am a geek) would be more synergetic - everyone in a kind of free-fall free-for-all, breaking down into subsets and eventually couples, then all back together for post-coital groping and seconds... and thirds... and Second Breakfast... and 11sies....

[lovingboth]

I like threesomes a lot. But then I can happily get off on other people's pleasure without being bored or feeling I need to Do Something.