Spiderman's Semen Killed Mary Jane!
Feb. 12th, 2007 06:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsFrom Spider Man: Reign #3:
Oh God, I'm sorry! The doctors didn't understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was... I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me... loving me... Loving me killed you!"Sadly, this is not a joke.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 12:37 pm (UTC)That is so mind-bogglingly and risibly stupid that it makes me wonder how this got put out in public. What the HELL is Marvel Comics thinking?
I mean, it's not just dumb from a real-physics perspective. It's even dumb from a comic book physics perspective. Where the hell would all this radiation come from? How much venom did that one little radioactive spider have, anyway? Clue: radiation isn't alive.
As for the implied biology -- does whoever wrote this dreck really believe that spermatazoa wander randomly about the interior of a woman after ejaculation? Do they have any notion of what goes on inside a woman's sexual organs? Didn't they ever take Health Class?
Argh.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 04:11 pm (UTC)Who said anything about sexual organs? Maybe Peter and MJ were really into oral, in which case the spidercum would have followed a literal long and winding trail through MJ's anatomy.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 06:57 pm (UTC)well i was comin' home late one dark afternoon
a reporter stopped me for a interview
she said she's heard stories and she's heard fables
that i'm vicious on the mike and the turntables
this young reporter i did adore
so i rocked a vicious rhyme like i never did before
she said damn fly guy i'm in love with you
the casanova legend must have been true
i said by the way baby what's your name
said i go by the name of lois lane
and you could be my boyfriend you surely can
just let me quit my boyfriend called superman
i said he's a fairy i do suppose
flyin' through the air in pantyhose
he may be very sexy or even cute
but he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit
i said you need a man who's got finesse
and his whole name across his chest
he may be able to fly all through the night
but can he rock a party til the early light
he cant satisfy you with his little worm
but i can bust you out with my super sperm
no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 08:02 pm (UTC)That's a word I didn't need in my brain, ever.
Spidercum
no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 08:02 pm (UTC)That's a word I didn't need in my brain, ever.
Spidercum
Seconded.
Date: 2007-02-13 09:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 11:12 pm (UTC)Hmm, and then some of the radioactives could get digested and deposited long-term in her tissues ... yeah, I guess that would make sense, if you ignore the much bigger question as to where the hell enough radioactivity to give a woman cancer is coming (heh) from in the first place. Radioactivity isn't alive -- it doesn't "breed." The writers are clearly trying to make an analogy with STD's, but they are ignoring the difference between living and unliving things, which is rather a large mistake!
- Jordan
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 09:26 pm (UTC)