'Cause Mundens else did it: Questions about sex

[elfs]

'Cuz mundens dared me to:

1. You must include this link to Sex Talk - Sex Advice for Men
2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.
3. You must tag three people.

I'm taking volunteers on the last one.

Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?

Pretty much anytime. Morning's better... I tend to run myself pretty hard and can be ready for sleep pretty surely by nightfall.

Better Sex Music - Sade or Marvin Gaye?

Ick. Iron Maiden, Rammstein, and Anoushka Shankar are much better.

Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Videos?

Pics. At my age, video is scarily honest.

Fabulous Sex With: Dr Doug Ross or Dr Greg House?

Uh, who?

Vibrator or Dildo?

Dildos. Really, really scary big ones. I used to have one named after the meteor that smashed through Ringworld.

Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?

Either way. On low is best.

Word Preference: Pussy or Cunt?

Meow

Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?

Over the knee, of course.

More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Aeroplane?

Elevator.

Ron Jeremy or Peter North?

Peter North, circa 1988. Oh my, yes.

Word Preference? Cock or dick?

Cock.

Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?

Asia Carrera.

Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape

Rope.

Give Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?

Uh, I have to choose?

Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl

Call girl.

Which Threesome - Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?

Does it matter so long as they'll both do me?

Flavoured Oil or Tingling Oil?

Massage.

Pearl Necklace or Swallow?

Swallow.

Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex With a Stranger?

I'm not a great showman, so with.

Tied to the Bed or to a St Andrew's Cross

St. Andrew!

You know what's sad? Now that I have kids and a job and all the attendent time-crushing responsibilities, I just can't write all this without a heavy sense of nostalgia.

Comments

[norincraft.livejournal.com]

{In the best Margaret Thacher or Julia Child voice possible}

You wicked, wicked monkey!

[resonant.livejournal.com]

I used to have one named after the meteor that smashed through Ringworld.

LOL!

[elfs.livejournal.com]

You want really funny? I lost Fist of God because I loaned it to a lesbian theater troupe doing a presentation of Lysistrata. (The woman who borrowed it said she wanted "something they could see from the back row.") Then they did a show down in San Francisco and left it there!

[alyxavia.livejournal.com]

Ok, I love reading your blog though I don't know you. I've never commented but this time I have to.

My favorite dildo is named Aaden.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Oh, yay! I have one of those too! (It's so much nicer than the brand name, "Manrammer.")

[alyxavia.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I don't know, Manrammer is rather appealing to me.

Aaden is my smallest and named because I would describe his size roughly the same way you describe Aaden's size. I seem to share a love a rather huge dildos with you. I also have Titan (his out of package name suited him) and TMC, The Monster Cock.

[bldrnrpdx.livejournal.com]

A past partner of mine had one he referred to as "The +4 Dildo of Divine Inspiration" because he was a huge AD&D fan and apparently everyone who saw this thing said "Oh my god!". Oh, and it glowed in the dark.

[alyxavia.livejournal.com]

*chuckle*

I think I'd like to have one that glows in the dark.

[gromm.livejournal.com]

Heh. Ours is called The Lavender, although it too has inspired the comment "Oh my god, you mean you're going to put that up gromm's ass?"

I wouldn't really call it huge by dildo standards though. It's only 8" long.

[mundens.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'd go for Asia Carrera over those two also!

[gromm.livejournal.com]

Me too, but that doesn't say much. And it's only because she's the nerd of porn. Or is that was? She's the same age as I am after all.

I'm much more of a fan of Bella Donna myself.

[alyxavia.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, Bella Donna, absolutely.