Restaurant Review: Johnny Rockets in Tukwila

[elfs]

Summary: We will not be going back.

• Facilities: Okay
• Service: Great
• Food: Terrible
• Price: Excessive for what you get, even if it were good.

Omaha and I took the kids to the Southcenter shopping mall to get some errands done and to get Yamaraashi-chan's hair cut. After everything was done we were all hungry and Omaha suggested that we try out Johnny Rocket's, an überkitschy attempt at re-creating a 50's era hamburger shop. The entire place is done white tile and linoleum, with block lettering and typography right out of the same era. The waiters all wear white smocks and uniforms with neckties and little white hats trimmed in red. The music they play is also out of the 50's: "Big Girls Don't Cry" and early Elvis and so forth. In terms of setting, the place hits it just about right. There are even signs on the walls straight out of the 50's with lines like "The white of our store tells you our food is clean and wholesome!" The music is played far too loud.

The service was certainly adequate. The waitress who served us tried hard to make sure everyone got what they wanted. She even overheard a remark Omaha made about letting Kouryou-chan share her milkshake and brought us two half-filled glasses with extra whipped cream and two cherries, no charge. I gave her a healthy tip.

On the other hand, the food was just awful. First, she brought us our fries and onion rings; the rings were cold. We complained and she brought us a plateful fresh from the deep fryer. Omaha noted that in keeping with the theme the place had no heat-lamps. That might work for burgers and things that are made and then served immediately, but fries and rings are often done in batches. A dip in customary could cause a holdover that would cool the deep-frieds too quickly. Not good.

Even worse, the burgers were simply awful. The girls didn't eat theirs. I made it about halfway through mine before I could stand no more. Omaha did the same with her chicken burger. The problem was universal: in an effort to make it as 50's as possible, the bread was 50's baking-powder leavened whitebread and the burgers weren't drained of their fat. The grease was grossly overwhelming.

The price of two adult burgers, two kids meals, a plate of fries and rings, one soda pop and one milkshake: $42. Ridiculous. I could get better quality calories for half that price at Burger King. There's no way I'm paying double standard fast food to be "transported" to an era before I born.

We all left there convinced that we weren't going to ever visit that particular restaurant again.

Comments

[featheredfrog.livejournal.com]

Actually, sounds EXACTLY like 1950s burgers and fries. Pretty awful.

It's the same thing at the JR's in Greenwich Village here. Good for tourists, but far better food is available right across the street for far less.

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

Loba and I tried one up in the U-district when we were house searching. It was a little better, which is still not saying much. I won't eat at one again either.

BTW - did you get my e-mail?

Same here.

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

As you put it, they tried too hard to make the food accurate to the 50's, and way over-prices for what you get.

There is one chain I do miss from living in California, that's up in the Washington area as well (one of the few successful chains I'm aware of that isn't just an ameobea on the map, but scattered dust here and there) is Fatburger. And despite the name, I always thought they were good, a better-quality, wierd-lingo-free In-and-Out.

But I always have had a weakness for a sunny-side up egg on a simple burger instead of the slice of cheese so many places slap on, and Fatburger was the one 'chain' that has that available as an option.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[ladyallyn.livejournal.com]

If you get to south Everett, go to Mikie's. Real milkshakes, about 6 tables, food made when you order it and how you want it. I think it used to be an old A&W 'sit-down' 10-12 years ago. Prices reasonable. AFATG, Dick's or Kidd Valley are pretty much the same as they've been since their respective foundings.

Much farther, but...

[pieforeveryone.livejournal.com]

Much farther south in Salem, OR is a chain called Rock'n'Rogers, which is somewhat cheaper than what you described (probably closer to $30 for everything, I'm guessing, less if you have a coupon). This place is reminiscent of the 50s without actually sacrificing food quality -- probably some of the best burgers in the state, with "oldies" music and vintage magazine ads under the glass tabletops. It's probably kitschier than it needs to be, but the food is quite good regardless, and service is usually quite good as well.
Not that any of you are likely to visit Salem, but just letting you know that the "50s style diner" is alive and well elsewhere.

[rhonan.livejournal.com]

Having worked in food service for 23 years before going geek, I can tell a thing or two about a restaurant just from looking at it and it's menu. I knew the first time I saw a Johnny Rocket's that I'd be pissed at myself if I spent a dime there. I am sorry your clan confirmed this for me.

[doodlesthegreat.livejournal.com]

When you can use the drippings as emergency crankcase filler, you know you've got some lousy meat. To pay premium rates for it is ridiculous.

[solarbird]

I've tired two Johnny Rockets. They're all wretched. Yours may have been worse than usual, but they're all just terrible. Do not visit.

[antonia-tiger.livejournal.com]

It's a long time since I was in a burger bar of that sort, also at a big shopping mall, back in the last century. I don't recall the food being bad, and the place had the right sort of look, but it didn't really have any reality to it. It was as real as the Spanish facades surrounding the "food court", swamped by the mass of people stuffing down the calories before hitting the shops again.

For a few years, the p[articular mall was interesting: lots of smaller, specialised, stores taking advantage of the loss-leader rents when the place was new. Last time I went, they'd gone. It was all crammed with instances of the store chains you see in every town and every mall. And the 50s burger bar looked even more fake: time travelling tourists getting a sanitised reality.