Restaurant Review: Johnny Rockets in Tukwila

[elfs]

Summary: We will not be going back.

• Facilities: Okay
• Service: Great
• Food: Terrible
• Price: Excessive for what you get, even if it were good.

Omaha and I took the kids to the Southcenter shopping mall to get some errands done and to get Yamaraashi-chan's hair cut. After everything was done we were all hungry and Omaha suggested that we try out Johnny Rocket's, an überkitschy attempt at re-creating a 50's era hamburger shop. The entire place is done white tile and linoleum, with block lettering and typography right out of the same era. The waiters all wear white smocks and uniforms with neckties and little white hats trimmed in red. The music they play is also out of the 50's: "Big Girls Don't Cry" and early Elvis and so forth. In terms of setting, the place hits it just about right. There are even signs on the walls straight out of the 50's with lines like "The white of our store tells you our food is clean and wholesome!" The music is played far too loud.

The service was certainly adequate. The waitress who served us tried hard to make sure everyone got what they wanted. She even overheard a remark Omaha made about letting Kouryou-chan share her milkshake and brought us two half-filled glasses with extra whipped cream and two cherries, no charge. I gave her a healthy tip.

On the other hand, the food was just awful. First, she brought us our fries and onion rings; the rings were cold. We complained and she brought us a plateful fresh from the deep fryer. Omaha noted that in keeping with the theme the place had no heat-lamps. That might work for burgers and things that are made and then served immediately, but fries and rings are often done in batches. A dip in customary could cause a holdover that would cool the deep-frieds too quickly. Not good.

Even worse, the burgers were simply awful. The girls didn't eat theirs. I made it about halfway through mine before I could stand no more. Omaha did the same with her chicken burger. The problem was universal: in an effort to make it as 50's as possible, the bread was 50's baking-powder leavened whitebread and the burgers weren't drained of their fat. The grease was grossly overwhelming.

The price of two adult burgers, two kids meals, a plate of fries and rings, one soda pop and one milkshake: $42. Ridiculous. I could get better quality calories for half that price at Burger King. There's no way I'm paying double standard fast food to be "transported" to an era before I born.

We all left there convinced that we weren't going to ever visit that particular restaurant again.