Sterlings, Chapter 10: in the can!

[elfs]

Grief. Chapter 10 done. It's one of the major "gonzo" scenes and the first threesome. It was so bad the first time I read it through: POV shifts between Polly and Dove happen so often that I was getting lost who was who. Fortunately, I managed to lock it down to a single POV shift late in the story, with the appropriate break as Dove leaves the room and Polly takes over. (We never see the world from Zia's POV, and believe me, that's a good thing.)

Unfortunately, I'm worrying about stereotypes: Zia is the incredibly self-disciplined "girl from down on the farm" who's seen what the city has to offer and is systematically grabbing it with both hands (wait 'til she grasps that live wire!), Polly is the 50's suburbanite with her second year of post-educational freedom, and Dove is the little rich girl who's brilliant enough to know she's spoiled and trying to do the right thing about it, but not experienced enough to always know what the right thing is.

Still, not bad hooks off of which to hang an orgy or two.

Comments

[halloranelder.livejournal.com]

You are the only person I know who worries that his porn has problems with the plot!

[elfs.livejournal.com]

*Giggle* Thanks, I think. Of course, my whole reason for writing was in response to the fact that there was so much plotless crap on ASS* at the time.

[halloranelder.livejournal.com]

Well, I think ASS* was where I found you in the first place I think. Either that or someone else was reposting some of your stories on the ISCA BBS, I can't quiet remember which.

It was mid 1992 at any rate, and the story was Brieanna, Parts 1 and 2. I had no idea who or what anyone in the story were, but really liked it. I didn't end up finding your website (or drizzle back then I think) until a couple of years later.

Your writing is definitely one of my three favourite pieces of web fiction, and probably one of my favourite pieces of writing in general.