Sterlings, Chapter 10: in the can!
Jul. 27th, 2007 11:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsGrief. Chapter 10 done. It's one of the major "gonzo" scenes and the first threesome. It was so bad the first time I read it through: POV shifts between Polly and Dove happen so often that I was getting lost who was who. Fortunately, I managed to lock it down to a single POV shift late in the story, with the appropriate break as Dove leaves the room and Polly takes over. (We never see the world from Zia's POV, and believe me, that's a good thing.)
Unfortunately, I'm worrying about stereotypes: Zia is the incredibly self-disciplined "girl from down on the farm" who's seen what the city has to offer and is systematically grabbing it with both hands (wait 'til she grasps that live wire!), Polly is the 50's suburbanite with her second year of post-educational freedom, and Dove is the little rich girl who's brilliant enough to know she's spoiled and trying to do the right thing about it, but not experienced enough to always know what the right thing is.
Still, not bad hooks off of which to hang an orgy or two.
Unfortunately, I'm worrying about stereotypes: Zia is the incredibly self-disciplined "girl from down on the farm" who's seen what the city has to offer and is systematically grabbing it with both hands (wait 'til she grasps that live wire!), Polly is the 50's suburbanite with her second year of post-educational freedom, and Dove is the little rich girl who's brilliant enough to know she's spoiled and trying to do the right thing about it, but not experienced enough to always know what the right thing is.
Still, not bad hooks off of which to hang an orgy or two.
