Kronik

[elfs]

I was feeling rundown yesterday afternoon so I decided to try the drink that has become the drug of choice among my teammates at the office: Kronik, a low-calorie "energy drink." (If you go to the website, you'll get a bunch of bullsnot pictures of BMX bikers, skateboarders, and paintballers all showing the supposed lifestyle of people who drink highly caffeinated soda water. It's ridiculous.)

Now, let's be clear: the can is 16oz in size and swears that it contains 2 servings. I don't know anyone who will drink half a can of anything carbonated: by the time you get to the other half, it's flat and disgusting. Unlike most people, I actually poured it into a glass; it is a light blue color not found in nature. It would glow under blacklight.

I drank less than half a serving, less than four ounces, and the two halves of my brain stopped communicating. Shards of thought missed one another, unrelated images and diagrams collided with words and expressions. I could not speak without stuttering. Getting a single coherent idea together to express was an effort. I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn't say it without a supreme force of will. For an hour afterward I was a useless mass of brain cells and little more. If there was any physical sign of my distress beside the stutter, neither I nor my coworkers noticed.

I think I'll stick to coffee. At least I know what I'm getting.

Comments

Re: Bawls

[zonereyrie.livejournal.com]

Actually, that bit about LSD is an urban legend. I got curious back in college and spent time researching it at the UMass Med Center library. LSD is unstable in the human body and it breaks down and is metabolized within days at most from ingestion. It simply doesn't linger in the body - in fat, spinal fluid, or any of the other reported places. Basically the stories about flashbacks being triggered by LSD coming out of suspension in the body are pure myth. People do have flashbacks, but they're purely psychological.

Re: Bawls

[happy-hacker.livejournal.com]

This, I did not know. Never used the stuff, and never read up on it. Interesting factoid. Thanks. :)

-HH