Kronik

[elfs]

I was feeling rundown yesterday afternoon so I decided to try the drink that has become the drug of choice among my teammates at the office: Kronik, a low-calorie "energy drink." (If you go to the website, you'll get a bunch of bullsnot pictures of BMX bikers, skateboarders, and paintballers all showing the supposed lifestyle of people who drink highly caffeinated soda water. It's ridiculous.)

Now, let's be clear: the can is 16oz in size and swears that it contains 2 servings. I don't know anyone who will drink half a can of anything carbonated: by the time you get to the other half, it's flat and disgusting. Unlike most people, I actually poured it into a glass; it is a light blue color not found in nature. It would glow under blacklight.

I drank less than half a serving, less than four ounces, and the two halves of my brain stopped communicating. Shards of thought missed one another, unrelated images and diagrams collided with words and expressions. I could not speak without stuttering. Getting a single coherent idea together to express was an effort. I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn't say it without a supreme force of will. For an hour afterward I was a useless mass of brain cells and little more. If there was any physical sign of my distress beside the stutter, neither I nor my coworkers noticed.

I think I'll stick to coffee. At least I know what I'm getting.

Comments

[intrepid-reason.livejournal.com]

Wow! "I drank less than half a serving, less than four ounces, and the two halves of my brain stopped communicating." That is insane! What is in that thing? It sounds as if it should be in a MUCH smaller serving container, or just taken off the shelf all together. Bleck!

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

Wow.

Since I weaned myself from caffeine I get that response after about eight ounces or so of Coke, which is why I sip it very slowly on the rare occasions when I take it medicinally.

Bawls

[happy-hacker.livejournal.com]

Not sure what's in that stuff, it sounds unpleasant. For those wishing to take over the counter stimulants, I recommend Bawls soda. Guarana has a lot smoother onset than caffeine, but lasts much longer and is fat soluble. (meaning if you're making fat, you may re-experience the guarana later in life when you metabolize that fat. Just like LSD, apparently.) Last time I had one, I wasn't drinking caffeine at all, and it kept me awake for about 30 hours straight. Hey, it even tastes good. Available at computer stores near you, as it's a favorite of LAN parties.

-HH

Re: Bawls

[zonereyrie.livejournal.com]

Actually, that bit about LSD is an urban legend. I got curious back in college and spent time researching it at the UMass Med Center library. LSD is unstable in the human body and it breaks down and is metabolized within days at most from ingestion. It simply doesn't linger in the body - in fat, spinal fluid, or any of the other reported places. Basically the stories about flashbacks being triggered by LSD coming out of suspension in the body are pure myth. People do have flashbacks, but they're purely psychological.

Re: Bawls

[happy-hacker.livejournal.com]

This, I did not know. Never used the stuff, and never read up on it. Interesting factoid. Thanks. :)

-HH

Re: Bawls

[norman-hamer.livejournal.com]

Guarana is actually a fruit, which contains caffiene. It's called "guaranine", but it's the same chemical. The difference is the fat content in the fruit. Because the caffiene has to first be extracted from the fat, the uptake rate is slower. Creamer in coffee has the same effect.

[mo-hair.livejournal.com]

i had a very similar reaction to an energy drink i tried call redline (it's by vpx if anyone cares.) i drank the 8 oz can and nothing happened for an hour. then i flipped out. i couldn't stand still; i felt like i needed MORE work to do. oddly though, i felt very focused ont he task at hand rather than the incoherence you were talking about. when i came home from work at 11:30 pm i got all martha stewart in my kitchen making this huge elaborate fruit kabob snack thing for my kid's preschool. i napped for two hours the went back to the gym to work out. it took 23 hours to wear off! never again did i have the same monumental reaction to it. apparently your body "gets used to it." i turned my spin instructor onto the stuff, wcih she drinks before getting on the bike. it makes for one seriously intense class!

[zonereyrie.livejournal.com]

Huh, sounds like something to try when I'm really sleep deprived... so, like, any time...

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[elfs.livejournal.com]

It does if you dig hard enough:

CONTAINS: Carbonated Water, Taurine, Citric Acid, Natural Flavors, Sodium Citrate, Sucralose (Splenda Brand), Ascorbic Acid, Caffeine, Glucoronolactone, Siberian Ginseng Extract, Guarana Extract, Ginger Exract, Grape Seed Extract, Licorice Root Extract, L-Tyrosine, Niacin, Sodium Benzoate & Potassium Sorbate (As Preservative to Protect Flavor), Ginko Biloba Extract, Damiana Extract, Milk Thistle Extract, Inositol, L-Carnitine, Pyridoxine HCL (Vitamin B6), Pantothenic Acid, Blue 1, Riboflavin, Cyanocobalamin (Vitamin B-12).

There's a ton of scary stuff in there: glucoronolactone, l-carnitine, inositol. All at once, it can't be good for ya. I suppose I should rely on a good night's sleep more often.

[riverheart.livejournal.com]

Damiana!! Whooa.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Also sucralose

[(Anonymous)]

There has been some small anecdotal evidence that sucralose can be linked (in a very small percentage of the populace) to "brain events" -- microstrokes.

There is a FUDdy website, The Truth About Splenda (put up by the American Sugar Association), that collects these anecdotes -- but presumably they're not actually manufacturing them. I personally know someone who had a microstroke shortly after having consumed something with Splenda for the first time (so, correlation, but not proved causation, and its only anecdotal).