An Orgy Declined
Mar. 10th, 2004 09:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfs This saturday at an undisclosed location (although no place Dick Cheney would ever visit) there's an orgy going on. It's an all-male handballing (fist fucking, whatever you want to call it) event. I've been to a number of these over the years and always had a good time. I'm not going to go into the physical and spiritual joys of handballing; suffice it to say that it's like any other extreme support-- incredibly pleasurable to those who enjoy it, eminently survivable when done correctly, and completely incomprehensible to those not interested in it.
Despite having been actively invited to the next one (I suspect it's mostly an automated email list, so it's not like someone thought of me or anything) I have decided to politely decline.
I'm not sure why. Part of it might be that I'm getting older, but I think that's unfair. Most of the men who go to the Red Hankercheif Parties (as they are called; wearing a red handkerchief was a signal that you were into fisting, once upon a time) are older than I am. Part of it might be the pressure of life-- I want my weekend to relax and catch up, and heading out to a party is a dent of time I don't want to give up. Part of it is Yamaarashi-chan's surgery tomorrow; I want to be available if complications arise over the weekend.
It's funny, though, because I've been jonesing for a boyfriend for a bit, which happens every spring. There's a bit of greed involved with that because I have Omaha, one steady friend-with-benefits (what a silly phrase), two others who are "when we can make time in our ridiculously busy lives, which is like once a year if we're lucky", and one friend with whom I'm undergoing delicate negotiations... but they're all women.
I think it's just stress, though (the declining, not the wanting, although even that is tinged with the passivity of I'll-get-to-that-eventually). Life is full, overflowing, even when one big chunk, my writing, is on hold.
Note to self: get the damn bicycle fixed.
Despite having been actively invited to the next one (I suspect it's mostly an automated email list, so it's not like someone thought of me or anything) I have decided to politely decline.
I'm not sure why. Part of it might be that I'm getting older, but I think that's unfair. Most of the men who go to the Red Hankercheif Parties (as they are called; wearing a red handkerchief was a signal that you were into fisting, once upon a time) are older than I am. Part of it might be the pressure of life-- I want my weekend to relax and catch up, and heading out to a party is a dent of time I don't want to give up. Part of it is Yamaarashi-chan's surgery tomorrow; I want to be available if complications arise over the weekend.
It's funny, though, because I've been jonesing for a boyfriend for a bit, which happens every spring. There's a bit of greed involved with that because I have Omaha, one steady friend-with-benefits (what a silly phrase), two others who are "when we can make time in our ridiculously busy lives, which is like once a year if we're lucky", and one friend with whom I'm undergoing delicate negotiations... but they're all women.
I think it's just stress, though (the declining, not the wanting, although even that is tinged with the passivity of I'll-get-to-that-eventually). Life is full, overflowing, even when one big chunk, my writing, is on hold.
Note to self: get the damn bicycle fixed.
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 09:08 am (UTC)Other than that, are you sure you wanted to make this a public posting? You seem to be a relatively private person usually.
Sincerely,
A. Wench
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 09:23 am (UTC)As for making it public, absolutely. I think I've made two private posts in my entire life. I've made over 500 posts in the year or so I've been on LJ and less than five of them have been private, and usually for reasons other than I was squeamish about the details.
I've never thought of myself as a private person. I'm protective of my family, but there's no hiding on the Internet who I am or what I've done in the past. I'm extremely careful to separate my adult life (which every marriage has, hopefully-- mine's just more colorful than some) from what my kids know or need to know about me.
I might choose my words selectively at times-- after all, it's not paranoid to say that there are people on the Internet who have actively attacked me for being too liberal-- although amusingly enough the attack now is coming from a woman who says I'm too conservative-- today she actually called me "an Enemy of the People." Wheee, I'll be the first up against the wall when her revolution starts. Which only goes to show that in our polarized world nuanced thinking that covers a lot of ground goes seriously underappreciated.
But "private" is not something I'd consider myself.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 09:55 am (UTC)Well, I gues I assumed that you were making private posts because of the extent of time between posts. That and I'm not on your friend's list. (NO! That is not a hint to add me!)
I went looking for your writings on the recommendations of two friends; Both ot them said that you write some pretty good adult material.
I found your Live journal, and added you so I could watch for your posts--I guess you just don't write often, unlike lots of my other friends.
Anyway, nice to meetcha--and I hope that you find some nice young man to make you feel more fulfilled.
And don't forget the latex gloves and water-based lube for when you *do* accept another invitation to a handballing party.
Ambitious Wench
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 10:15 am (UTC)And the organizers of such parties provide it.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 10:33 am (UTC)A. Wench.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 01:26 pm (UTC)And, of course, I have the wrong plumbing to receive it...
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 01:42 pm (UTC)Wow.
Ya know, among lesbians, you'd be "well hung".
A. Wench
(You walked into it, pal.)
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 03:14 pm (UTC)I have to say that's something I have envied about you since we met on SSG. I started in local politics at age 9, then became an army wife only a couple of years after escaping politics. I'm yet to feel I have the luxury of not being a private person.
I have to wonder, though... even without political opposition or a dishonorable discharge to worry about... how do you pull off being as open a person you are and still live somewhere (presumably with neighbors in the vicinity) and get along with family? I can imagine you being lucky enough to have a far more open-minded extended family than most people, but I can't imagine any town without a nosy, conservative neighbor or PTA president or somesuch who disapproves enough to make life difficult.
(BTW, if you can't figure out which SSGer I am, drop me an email.)
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 05:51 pm (UTC)Heh...well, mostly it's because we cheat. All of our relatives live out of state, and almost all of them either don't own or even have access to their own computer, or for those that do, most don't even check anything online. Despite the fact that all of my family members know about my livejournal, not one of them who has access to a computer and the internet has ever read it. And Elf's family is the same way. They just aren't internet savvy or interested, for some reason.
But as far as children are concerned, I think that when Yamaarashi-chan and Kouryou-chan are old enough to start getting online and reading stuff, we will be going back through our LJs and deciding about things that we want to make friends-list only..there are certain things, for example, that Elf has mentioned about Yamaarashi-chan's mother that she just doesn't need to know until she is older.
Eventually they will both be old enough to read over anything they want to, and we will feel they have the right to, and with only a few exceptions as far as I'm concerned just about everything on my LJ will be available to them that is publicly available now (and then some, depending).
no subject
Date: 2004-03-15 03:25 pm (UTC)At least I know that my son is being raised to respect people's differences, especially with regard to something as personal as one's sexual tastes.
You're lucky that your extended family aren't poking around the internet on a daily basis. Still, you never mentioned nosy neighbors and such? I'm curious because I'm not sure how I would respond if it became an issue around here--particularly with the UCMJ hanging over my head.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-10 09:35 am (UTC)Sounds like you've made a sound decision based on what's important in your life. And isn't it nice to have important things/people in your life?
lol
Date: 2004-03-10 01:43 pm (UTC)a friend of mine was in a club in sacramento and got arrested when cops raided the place because someone claimed prostetution was going on
(it wasnt it was just a swingers club) and what he and hist partner were charged with was under the decency laws having more than 3 fingers inserted into the oraface of another
some people have issues even in the librial wonderland that is cali lol
Re: lol
Date: 2004-03-10 01:47 pm (UTC)Re: lol
Date: 2004-03-10 02:14 pm (UTC)