The Manly Arts
Nov. 6th, 2003 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsI'm 37 years old and, to my annoyance, I discover that there is an encylopedia of knowledge about being a man that either my father never taught me, that my absurdly expensive English boarding school never showed me, and that I have not before encountered for myself until recently.
There's an entire generation growing up with the same problem, and as a cure there are books to help with the problem, with instructions on how to mow a lawn, or start a grill.
In the public interest, I shall expound on three things I have learned recently.
1. How to tuck in your shirt. The real secret to tucking in a shirt and making it look right is to not shove the shirt down your pants with your hand; the withdrawal action can cause the shirt to come loose. What you really want to do open your fly, reach in, and pull the shirttail down as far as it will comfortably go. Reach all the way around to the sides and get every angle.
2. A tip on shaving. Rinse the blade in cold water after every stroke. This apparently hardens the blade and cools your face as you shave, thus making the act of shaving less uncomfortable.
3. How to section a grapefruit. While not really a manly art, a grapefruit and coffee is my preferred breakfast on workdays, and I have never quite managed to do it without a bit of a mess. Here's what I have learned: cut off the ends of the grapefruit and discard. Place one of the flat facings on a cutting board and trim off the outer skin, making sure to trim off all of the white, waxy part. Now, with your knife, saw down along the waxy inner membranes to the center, working the knife back and forth. The inner flesh of the grapefruit should now come out cleanly.
There's an entire generation growing up with the same problem, and as a cure there are books to help with the problem, with instructions on how to mow a lawn, or start a grill.
In the public interest, I shall expound on three things I have learned recently.
1. How to tuck in your shirt. The real secret to tucking in a shirt and making it look right is to not shove the shirt down your pants with your hand; the withdrawal action can cause the shirt to come loose. What you really want to do open your fly, reach in, and pull the shirttail down as far as it will comfortably go. Reach all the way around to the sides and get every angle.
2. A tip on shaving. Rinse the blade in cold water after every stroke. This apparently hardens the blade and cools your face as you shave, thus making the act of shaving less uncomfortable.
3. How to section a grapefruit. While not really a manly art, a grapefruit and coffee is my preferred breakfast on workdays, and I have never quite managed to do it without a bit of a mess. Here's what I have learned: cut off the ends of the grapefruit and discard. Place one of the flat facings on a cutting board and trim off the outer skin, making sure to trim off all of the white, waxy part. Now, with your knife, saw down along the waxy inner membranes to the center, working the knife back and forth. The inner flesh of the grapefruit should now come out cleanly.
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no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 08:25 pm (UTC)And I always just put the shirt on first. :)
As for grapefruit, I defer to your superior cook-fu. :)
no subject
Date: 2003-11-07 07:06 am (UTC)Also, on the grapefruit, there is a teaspoon that has a serated tip that has been specifically created for eating a half grapefruit.
I plead the 5th on the shirt tucking thing *)