What God wants, God gets, God help us all.

I was in a cafe' near my house yesterday, and saw a poster on the wall in the back, where the community notices are hung. It was a fairly large poster, very well-designed in a dark gunmetal gradient with vector floral arrangements on the top and a beautifully chosen serif font printed large in goldenrod, and it read: "Return to Security!" The body of the text read in part, "Come listen to a special presentation and discover God's Plan For Your Financial Security!" and the address of a local Seventh-day Adventist church.

I didn't write down the name of the huckster putting it on, but I bet his financial security is pretty much set: at the bottom of the poster, it read: "$99 per family."

Omaha Bait

Omaha's from Tampa Bay, and often wrings her hands at the political stupidity of both the region and the state. This will make her hurt:

When reporters from the St. Petersburg Times mentioned to him that the newspaper will soon change its name to the Tampa Bay Times to reflect the larger area that the paper now covers, Rick droned back in his hollow nasal way, "Does the region call itself the Tampa Bay region? Is that what it calls itself? The region does?" Uhhh.

Tampa Bay encompasses Tampa, St. Petersburg and Clearwater and is the state's second-largest metropolitan area. Oh well, Rick Scott will learn what "Tampa Bay" is when they hand him a few of those crack-addicted welfare queens he’s been hunting lately.

[HT: Wonkette]