Brain: Testosterony, The San Francisco Treat!

( Shrill, oh very shrill )

The Toilet of the Future!

Toilets of the Future!

Yesterday, I blogged about going to the Great Wall Mall, a place that so's over-the-top all-Asian all-the-time that you'd swear it was camp and not kitsch, but no, they're earnest about it, and it's kitsch. And one of the weirdest things there was a store, and the woman who ran the store, selling one item only: The Toilet From The Future. Or at least, a cheesy SFnal future.

The Lotus Toilet washes your ass for you. When you're done with your business, you push a button and an arm comes out and lovingly hoses down your backside, then dries you with a gentle stream of warm air. This poor woman in the photograph gives demos of this thing all day, showing off one with a plastic shield so the customer doesn't get sprayed, but gets the idea. Those seats to the left of the photograph are an accessory: they change color in response to your body temperature, so you'll know if someone has sat on the seat before you. Apparently, being made aware of someone else's body heat is "icky" to some people.

Look at the list of accessories! "Rear wash," "Feminine wash," "Heated seat"... "Remote control‽‽‽"

I first read about these when Jay Lake went to Worldcon Japan last September, but he was safely in Tokyo when he encountered the robotoilet but now (cue Drew Barrymore) they're here! How weird. I'd hate to be sitting on one of these babies when Skynet wakes up. I don't think I'll be investing in one anytime soon. Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned bidet?

Contradictory quote of the day

I was listening to the radio this morning. The heads on NPR were talking about the heparin contamination crises, and one of the soundclips opened with a woman testifying before Congress about how bad heparin killed her husband. She opened with this gem:

In this land of freedom, we have come to expect to be protected and safe.

I don't know about you, but I smell a creeping tyranny by consensus expectation in her comment.

Your puny attempts to stop us will avail you nothing! Nothing, do you hearR

Interesting. The Discovery Institute has stopped allowing people into their offices by default. As of last week, you must now ring the intercom and have the secretary buzz you in. I wonder why. I can't imagine that Expelled generates that much controversy; mostly we're just laughing at how inept it all is.

Is that what it is?

A friend of mine and I were talking about porn, of all things, and she mentioned the recent spate of miscellaneous Euro girls coming across the Internet in seemingly unstoppable waves of toned, athletic pulchritude. I said that I didn't really like most of them. "Too skinny. Especially the ones Peter Hegre photographs. Other than his wife (Luba [NSFW]), they're all pretty flat-chested, too."

"Face it, Elf, you just like solid peasant girl stock."

Well, yeah, I think she's got me there. <Vorkosigan>I heartily approve of the Emperor's taste in women!</Vorkosigan>