Fiction about Fiction...

I glanced down at the writing desk. Our victim lay across it, hands crossed on her belly. "Well?" I said.

"I'm sorry, sir," the intern said. "We tried everything you suggested. We tried backstory, alternated planets, tried costuming tricks, even wrote up different life histories depending upon whether or not her parents were living or dead." The other interns nodded their heads. I know they mean well, but they all look like idiots when they do that. Too many yes-men in my head, methinks.

They were all in agreement about this one. "Did you try the pre-launch opening?" the original intern said.

"The 'on the sands' scenario? Yes. And the in media res in the kitchen we discussed, and the staff meeting version. I even tried playing with her name, but that would blow out the character development scene between her and Jinni."

More nods. One braver than the rest said, "The telekinet idea?" I glowered and he backed off. I looked down at my innocent victim and shook my head. "Well, this happens from time to time. Get a good idea, but something about it just won't power up. Sorry, Sammy."

Sammy didn't say anything. She remained as she had been created, as flat as as sheet of paper, no thicker than the stiffened cardboard frontpiece of a notebook and about as animated as Keaneu Reave's acting. I sighed. "Okay, today's assignment is to find an end conflict, a small one, for Ewan or Kay, before we bring them back into the current main storyline..."

Geek amusement of the day.

The following magical incatation will allow you to convert any video file you happen to have to something ipod-ready. Now to watch the really teeny-tiny subtitles on a two-inch screen and, if it's hentai, uh... go blind twice as fast! And GTKPod will successfully upload them to your iPod without complaint.

ffmpeg -i "$1" -f mp4 -vcodec mpeg4 -maxrate 1000 -b 700 -qmin 3 \
 -qmax 5 -bufsize 4096 -g 300 -acodec aac -ar 44100 \
 -ab 192 -s 320x240 -aspect 4:3 $2.mp4

I am about to violate the DMCA. Maybe.

Apple tells you that the video IPod can be hooked up to your television for composite output, but you have to buy the composite output cable from them. The normal three-prong composite video outputs from the camcorder don't work, they insist. They'll sell you one for $20.

Or, for $10, you can go to Radio Shack and buy a C/V Output cable, because they will work. Except (and here's the annoying part!) the red prong is video (yellow socket), the yellow prong is left audio (white socket), and the white prong is right audio (red socket).

How's that for "proprietary technology"? Since it's a violation of Apple's DRM Policy to use the iPod in a manner inconsistent with their dicta, I've probably just violated the DCMA by telling you this, right?

My Favorite Anti-War Song

Since all the cool kids are doing it: ( My favorite anti-war song. )