![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsI really should stop talking about my COVID-19 hospitalization in spaces with normal people. When someone asks me why I mask so routinely, I sometimes explain that the first time I caught COVID it sent me to the hospital twice, for a total of a month, including short-term disability, because my “recovery” the first time was a mirage that hid the real damage that damned virus did to my insides.
The explanation is counter-productive, because they’ll just nod sagely and say, maybe not in so many words, “Ah. That explains it. You’ve been through something horrible and are afraid to experience it again. That explains why you’re not willing to be free and share the air with the rest of us. You’re trapped in your trauma.”
As if there was something irrational about wanting to avoid a disease that
… and yet, somehow, I’m the one who needs pity and understanding because I’m not willing to risk what’s left of my life and my health after nearly dying of it the first time. As if I’m the one who need accomodation.
Just fuck off, the lot of you.
The explanation is counter-productive, because they’ll just nod sagely and say, maybe not in so many words, “Ah. That explains it. You’ve been through something horrible and are afraid to experience it again. That explains why you’re not willing to be free and share the air with the rest of us. You’re trapped in your trauma.”
As if there was something irrational about wanting to avoid a disease that
- lowers your IQ by an average three points every time you get it
- quadruples the risk of urinary incontinence in men my age
- can cause erectile dysfunction, loss of testosterone, and “direct testicular damage”
- destroys the body’s ability to respond postively to exercise
- destroys your ability to fight other infections
- can cause brain inflammation leading to mental illness
- doubles your risk of developing diabetes
- significantly raises your risk of heart attack and stroke
- does progressive damage with every re-infection
- is seventeen times more deadly than influenza
… and yet, somehow, I’m the one who needs pity and understanding because I’m not willing to risk what’s left of my life and my health after nearly dying of it the first time. As if I’m the one who need accomodation.
Just fuck off, the lot of you.
