Anime addenda to the Evil Overlords List

[elfs]

Anime addenda to the Evil Overlords List (from http://www.issendai.com/silliness/animecharacter.htm):

• If a too-cute-to-live girl refuses to understand that I don't want to date her, I will not hatch devious schemes to get away from her. I will go on a date with her and try at the first possible moment to get my hand down her blouse.
• But before I do this, I will clear my plans with her brother, secret admirer, or anyone else likely to pound me for being hentai with her.
• And if trying to cop a feel doesn't get her to run screaming from me, well, now I have a cute girlfriend who doesn't mind if I try to cop a feel. Things could be worse.
• If my enemy is a magical girl, I will not stand in awe as she goes airborne, drops all of her clothes, and starts spinning in preparation to transform. I will wait until her regular clothes are gone, then yank her down and start fighting. If her shock at my breaking the Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis doesn't paralyze her, the fact that she's in her birthday suit will.
• I will remember: The plot is not on my side. There's no way that I can win, so I might as well have fun.
• Whips are fun.
• Chains are fun.
• But they should be used sparingly unless I want to appear in yaoi fics for the rest of my born days. (And this is bad, why? - Elf)
• If I am facing an unbeatable mecha, I will not aim for it to the exclusion of all other targets or risk my underlings to get the specs. I will take out the techie team which maintains it. And then I will aim for it to the exclusion of all other targets.

Comments

[antonia-tiger.livejournal.com]

If I am female, I shall immediately book breast-reduction surgery. Back-ache is a preventable distraction from the clear thought required for successful plotting.

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

Not to mention they get in the way when fighting.

[bolindbergh]

Because an enemy may appear at any time, all my clothes — even underwear and swimwear — must be designed to withstand Mach 2 at sea level. (And if you recognise what recently aired episode of what current series inspired this one, shame on you for watching smut like that. :-P)

[kengr]

Oh? Please tell I need to be corrupted... :-)

[bolindbergh]

In a Crowning Moment of Absurd, episode 5 of Strike Witches features Charlotte E. Yeager breaking the sound barrier while wearing a red bikini. Shirley survives; her bikini doesn't.

[kengr]

Ah. The flying super I'm trying to design doesn't have that problem. A personal force field that provides streamlining handles that.

The teleporter one the other hand... :-)

[jordan179.livejournal.com]

* If I am facing a Hapless Everyman Misfit with a superpower, battlesuit, or other Unusual Ability, and I've measured said power to the nth degree, and finally cornered him with my own power, mathematically calculated to be too vast for him to possibly defeat ...

... I will kill him fast. I will not gloat. I will not describe what I'm going to do to him. I will most especially not taunt him with the statement that he has always been a failure and a quitter and that now his life is going to end ...

... and if I'm stupid enough to do that, when I see him start to glow and all my sensors begin to overload and the very air crackle with impossible energies beyond anything I've ever seen before ...

... I will get out of there. Immediately, and with my most effective method of escape.

I will not freeze and gape in astonishment. I will not say anything like: "What? The power? But it's the Cosmic McGuffin! Impossible! He's just an ordinary boy! How could he ..."

... because I will know that this will be the last thing I ever get to say as a corporeal being.

This is especially true if the show's theme music is building up to a Crowning Moment of Awesome.