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${Work} decided that it was time for this all-virtual company to have a company-wide face-to-face, and after much to-ing and fro-ing, the venue chosen was a large bed and breakfast in Alsace, France. Our CEO is wonderfully organized and, basically, after getting buy-in from everyone who would be attending, just emailed us tickets to the airport, the train to Strasbourg, end pretty much every detail.

All I needed was to get on a plane and go. Which I did, Sunday at noon. Which meant I’d be arriving in Paris at 7am on Monday, although my body would only think it was 10pm, since the flight is ten hours great-circle over the Arctic.

On the flight, I did a little hacking on my Surface Pro, and got both Gamescope and XRView working, so I was able to play Warcraft in complete privacy on my Rokid AR glasses, which are pretty nice. Lets me enjoy my furry pr0n without my seatmates having to know. And I did get the blessing of having the seat to my left empty, so I could stash my bookbag and still have a place to put my feet.

The jet lag just murdered me. It’s a good thing the “business” part of the business trip was a four or five hour session in the morning and we were free in the afternoon, because I spent the next three days spending my afternoons napping and trying not to feel dead to the world, nor feeling insomniac when I was awake at 4am because my circadian clock was still convinced it barely dusk back home.

That said, Monday was our “travel” day, and since I’d gotten into France early, and so had two of my peers, we met up at the Gare d’Est (East Station) and rode the subway to the Louvre, where we walked through the garden, had a lovely snack and then a fantastic lunch, all while walking around the city and just, you know, touring. That’s what tourists do. The Eiffel Tower is surprisingly clunky-looking up close. The Seine is beautiful. The garden at the Lourve only proves the last couple of kings were perverts, since the garden includes a hedge labyrinth just tall enough to make it hard to guess the maze, but short enough not to hide the four statues of naked girls running along the path. Other statues of Greek Gods and French Heroes are also placed about the pathways, and it’s hard to imagine someone in the US leaving a marble statue gilded in gold and made in 1772 out where just anyone can touch it.

As we walked around, I did see some local collective was putting up antifa stickers with the slogan, “No neighborhood for fascists!” I can get with that sentiment.

The train from Paris to Strasbourg covers the same distance as the Amtrack from Seattle to Portland. Paris to Strasbourgh takes 1 hour and 45 minutes. Seattle to Portland takes 3 hours and 25 minutes, and that’s the “fast” route! We could have these incredibly civilized, ridiculously comfortable transports carrying us around the country, but we’re addicted to the cramped, painful, noisy airlines, and I’ll never figure out why.

The meeting itself was at a farm house in the middle of nowhere, in a small town about 20 minutes outside of Strasbourg. A barn had been converted into a bed-and-breakfast meeting area, and everybody grabbed a room, and we all sat down to dinner together, meeting each other for the first time in a space not mediated by Zoom or Google Meetup (or whatever the eff they call it now).

I woke up the next morning and wondered why it was still dark at 7:00am. I thought, maybe I’m significantly further south than Seattle, but, no, it’s only 1.2° south, which isn’t that far. This is one of those things that always blows my mind about Seattle and maps: 70% of Canadians live south of Seattle, and England, Scotland, and Ireland are all north of us.

We made a grocery run, and it was, well, it was a full-size grocery, comparable to the local Safeway or Publix. The vegetables were absurdly fresh, and we were told not to buy bread. One of my peers was a local, and he led us to a small bakery about a 20 minute walk from the farmhouse, and we bought fresh-baked bread there. I spotted this “HappyVore” fake meat being sold on the shelves. I’m sure in a furry universe that’s a popular, if controversial, brand.

That bread was amazing. The omelette I made for breakfast for myself the next day was mind-bogglingly good. All the food was incredible.

And we hired a chef. She came in the evening to cook French and Moroccan-style meals, recommended local wines (two every night! A white for the salad and a red for meal), and she always cooked so much I usually had leftovers to tide me through breakfast or lunch the next day.

The only thing that disappointed me was the coffee. It was about as boring as you could imagine. I make better with my kettle and press back home. On the trip home I actually stopped at a Starbucks to drink coffee that didn’t taste of the 1980s. Sure, it tasted like the work of the Omnissiah, but at least it didn’t remind me of Folger’s. Also, all of the soda pop is artificially sweetened as a form of harm-reduction.

We had really productive meetings, getting refamiliarized with general discussions of the architecture of the product, a long bull session on our values as a company, and wish lists of what we want to accomplish with the product. I thought some of my ambitions were outlandish but, no, everyone agreed that everything I said sounded perfectly reasonable, even the one I thought was truly crazy: turning the elements folder into a showcase for web components, styling, internationalization, accessibility, the whole shebang. It’s ambitious as hell, and I thought it would get a thumbs down, but the leads were like, nope, that sounds like a reasonable ambition to us. So what do I know?

I did walk the entire little town we were in. It was chill, hovering around freezing. In fact, we just left the soda pop, white wine, and beer outside, since there was no reason to use the freezer when it was colder outdoors. The wine was amazing, but the beer was… beer. I had only one, a brown ale the French guy liked, and it was drinkable, which is about the only thing that recommends it. At least the whole “the only beers you can get in winter are more bitter than your soul” thing Seattle has going on hasn’t infested other countries.
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Omaha, Raen (nee Kouryou-chan) and I all went to Portland last weekend, and we did it without taking the car. Or any amount of luggeage that wouldn't fit on our backs. Everything had to fit in a backpack, and we were bringing our bicycles.

We left early Friday afternoon, scheduled for the 2:10pm train out of Seattle to Portland. Our first trick, after packing, was getting to the train station: a 3.5 mile ride to the Puget Sound Light Rail station by the airport, then a 35 minute ride into downtown. The light rail station and the train station are right next to each other.

I have to say that train rides are the most civilized way to travel. Unfortunately, we shared our train with a passel of twenty-something women who decided to drink and revel loudly in their escapades. They weren't particularly rude, just loud. We had headphones. The only disappointment on the train was the food; it was dull and bland, and Raen complained that the bread on her burger was mealy and kinda gross.

We arrived in Portland around 6:30. The ride to the hotel was only two miles but man, it felt like it was much longer than the 3.5 mile ride we'd done at the start of the trip. That's a classic illusion of travelling through a place you know well versus one you don't know at all.

We weren't roughing it at the DoubleTree Portland, but we hadn't intended to. After unpacking and changing into non-riding clothes, we took a bus to Division Street, a very hipster part of town. Our destination was the Pok Pok Thai restaurant, but when we got there the wait was over two hours. We went to their sister restaurant, a noodle shop named Sen Yai, right up the street. That was delicious! And really spicy, at least the one I had. Like a lot of the more twee Asian restaurants I've been to, a video screen played scenes from Thai media that were otherwise incomprehensible to ordinary Americans.

We had desert at Lauretta Jean's Pies. I had the Whiskey Peach. Couldn't really taste the whiskey, but the pie was tasty.

The ride back to the hotel was more adventuresome; the bus line we'd taken to get to Division Street was no longer running, so we ended up taking a larger circuit through Downtown. We got back around ten.

Saturday, we rode to Powells. Despite being an even longer ride, it felt shorter. I'm not sure what's going on there with the psychology, but I think we'd established that we could ride around Portland safely without getting lost.

Portland feels a lot like Seattle, only without the polish of recent tech universe pressure. I think that's a good thing. I like the feel of the place. It's much more lived in; it feels *proven*, made by human hands, in a way that Seattle often doesn't. On the other hand, nearby forest fires put a light haze and smell of smoke everywhere. It didn't make riding dangerous, just fragant.

Powells was amazing, but it always is. I bought three technical manuals. I just don't buy fiction in hardcover anymore unless I plan to keep it forever, and there aren't many books in that category, not with my shelves so full. Omaha and Raen also bought a ton of books. And I do mean a ton. On Sunday, when we rode back to the train station, we had to find a place to put them all, and the packing was damn challenging.

Lunch was at a place called Kenny & Zukes. A real Jewish deli, with real pastrami & rye. Raen and Omaha gave me their (real, Kosher, crisp!) pickles. Heaven.

On the ride back to the hotel, we passed by an authentic barcade which was all-ages until 5pm. Omaha and I went in and played our hearts out; I played 10 games straight of Robotron (they didn't have a Defender, dammit) and loved every one of them, almost setting the high score. The game was set insanely hard, 65,000 points for a new man! (Traditionally, it's 25,000.) Now I want to build a MAME cabinet!

Back at the hotel, Raen wanted a nap. Omaha and I went walking around for a few hours, then headed back. By the time we headed out, it was past nine. Our first choice for dinner was a little place named Petisco a few blocks away, but it was closing early. We were the first people to show up since 6pm, they said! We ended up at an Italian place named Pastini across the street, then back across the street again at a little place called Eb & Bean for frozen yogurt, which was tolerably less sweet than your usual suspect yogurt.

The hotel was hosting a model railroad association conference. The overwhelming impression of the attendees was that theyr were all white and all retired. There were few youngsters and no people of color at all.

Sunday, we packed and checked out, left our bags with the concierge, and walked to Voodoo Donughts. Raen naturally ordered the Gay Bar, a maple log decorated with a rainbow flag assortment of Froot Loops. After that, Omaha wanted to do something "different."

Portland has a series of "Bike Portland" events, in which the city closes off streets and lets only bicycles take a fairly large circuit through several neighborhoods. We rode to the nearest intersection, and joined in.

It was fun. We passed hundreds of people. Portland is very much a bicycle town, much moreso than Seattle. When we explain to people that we were from Seattle, they said, "But aren't your hills so much worse?" We allowed that they were, but that wasn't a reason not to ride. The entire ride took us past the noodle shop we'd eaten at Friday night, and up and down whole neighborhoods that, had we lived there, I might have been able to make sense of.

The most surreal event happened when we got back to the starting point. I hopped off my bike for a break, and a woman said, "I'm a friend of Charlie's" and shook my hand.

"That's, um, nice?" I said, utterly confused.

Then I heard someone say "Mr. Mayor!" and shake the hand of the man next to her. It was Charles Hales, the mayor of Portland. On a bicycle. With the tight spandex shorts and everything, doing his part to be part of the community and show his spirit. As we rode away, Omaha giggled and said, "I was good! I didn't ask him to come to the King County Democrats' Fundraiser next month."

We rode back to the hotel and collected our bags from the concierge, then rode to the train station. It was a lot easier this time.

The train was busier going North than it was heading South on Friday. This time, it was a passel of 20-something young *men*, still chatting away at the front of the car, loudly. The WiFi on the train is quite effective, although it did cut out in tunnels once in a while. For a quick trip between one state and the next, it's so much nicer than driving or plane.

The train ride and final bike ride back to the house weren't very dramatic. By then we were exhausted.

I think we'll do that again sometime. It's a nice way to spend a weekend. Pricey in some ways, cheaper than more relaxed in others. I'm sure if we booked a much cheaper hotel, we'd have saved a lot. But it was fun.
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I just spent a week in San Francisco. ${EMPLOYER} sent me down there to spend a week with the idea that I would meet some of the other people in my division. I met quite a few of them; like all human beings, some were correctly but difficultly aware of their superior skills; some were wonderful and helpful; some were just wonderful.

I also ran into [profile] whipartist and two furries who have been on my flists for a while. I went to Mr. S leather and bought an ahem device. I saw the famous San Francisco fog and was completely impressed by it. I saw the Golden Gate Bridge and likewise. I road Caltrain and enjoyed it. I road BART and did not. I road in a cab and quailed in terror as I realized the seatbelt didn't work.

I ate... moderately well. It took two tries to find a decent bagel shop. There are way too many "we'll charge hipsters $7 for a grilled cheese sandwich" shops. Despite being just around the corner from the office, I never stopped at 21st Amendment Brewery and never took the opportunity to drink Hell and High Watermelon straight from the tap.

I spent very little time in my hotel room, all things considered, despite my purchase from Mr. S. My days were full, and my evening were as well. I lost a day due to poor sleeping, damn the hotel. Not the hotel's fault, really; I just missed my wife, my family, and the comforting food of home, and slept incredibly poorly Tuesday night. Part of that may have been that Monday night, I woke up at 4am to make the flight to SF, and Tuesday, I forgot to turn the alarm off. So after sleeping like crap anyway, at 4am the alarm wakes me up with the most annoying buzz ever.

The Art Institue of SF has the world's most tempting bookstore. I made my saving throw, and walked out without buying anything.

The flight home was fine. The fog looks positively eldritch when viewed from above. I'm glad to be home.

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Elf Sternberg

March 2026

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