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"That's it. The Japanese are done. They can now return to planet Japania, leaving all the people of Earth horribly confused and scarred for life." So quoted Kotaku the other day while reviewing a standard two-dimensional fighting game of the Capcom vs. Marvel flavor, only with a twist: your opponent's damage heals unless you can kick or otherwise slide a camera under her skirt and get a shot of her panties.

I was reminded of this quote this afternoon. Omaha and I are sick and good for little more than sitting around passively absorbing media, although we've been good about keeping the girls occupied without sitting them in front of the television or a console game for hours upon hours. And I've been doing mostly reading; I'm down to the last ten pages or so of A Soldier Of The Great War. But what reminded me of this quote was, while I was spending a little time cleaning out the backlog of various video I've got on my laptop, I found a cache of unorganized doujinshi (illustrated fan-fiction, usually done in a manga style and almost always pornographic). Most of it was around a single theme: the television show Galaxy Angel, but I had to stop at one and laugh.

I haven't watched the show and so am not familiar with the characters. But halfway through a frentic sex scene the characters stopped, turned to the fourth wall, pulled out a Reality™ brand "female condom," and for the next four pages lectured the audience and then demonstrated how to use the darn things.

Heh. I still think Omaha and I did a better job. Still, it was fun to see.

Porn Daze

Sep. 10th, 2005 02:01 pm
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"Thanks to the Internet, I'm no longer interested in sex." - Fry from Futurama

Well, that's not entirely true, but I'm thinking about going on a porn fast for a while. I liked it better when porn was hard to get to, and not available with a few strokes of the right. The difficulty, unique quality, and essential newness of it made it valuable. Nowadays, there's so much of it that we've become aware that collections of smut of all kinds -- as well as the men and women who make themselves available to the hungry eyes of the audiences-- are as ubiquitous as Diet Coke. It's easy to get excited about the notion that somewhere in your city a beautiful girl might actually be naked before a camera. It's much harder when you know she is and you're not a part of it. The mystery is gone and with it the thrill of potential discovery. There is only the weak leftover fantasy of bumping uglies.

George Carlin once said, "Porn is where you get this hot, temporary girlfriend who a minute later is banging someone else." I'm starting to understand the wisdom of Carlin more and more.

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Elf Sternberg

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