Bad Signs!
Jul. 9th, 2011 03:08 pm You know, I shouldn't mock my own town that much. It's a nice town, most of the time. The people are friendly, the management is decent. It would be nice if the streets didn't roll up at 6pm, but then maybe we wouldn't like it so much if it was on all the time.
That said, I do wish some store owners cared more. These signs have been in these respective states for weeks. I'm sure they have "Glut'n" pizza at Bison Creek; the last time I ordered a pizza for delivery from Bison Creek the dough was still raw. I get my pizza from Verona's now. And the real estate agent is apparently doing such bad business he can't afford to buy a vowel.
Ah, well.
That said, I do wish some store owners cared more. These signs have been in these respective states for weeks. I'm sure they have "Glut'n" pizza at Bison Creek; the last time I ordered a pizza for delivery from Bison Creek the dough was still raw. I get my pizza from Verona's now. And the real estate agent is apparently doing such bad business he can't afford to buy a vowel.
Ah, well.
All Men Aren't Rapists
Jun. 27th, 2011 08:53 amAnna North tells it like it is in an essay about Scott Adams's recent dickishness:
Just because some men commit rape doesn't mean all other men are only restrained from it by the artificial strictures of society. In fact, the fantasy of a hyper-willing female partner, one who is both exceedingly desirous of sex and exceedingly satisfied by a man's skills, is common in both porn and pop culture. A few current videos on XTube, for instance, include Climax2000, Cuming [sic] For You, Debbs Dark Desires, and Wanting Some Big Dick, all of which appear to depict women in various states of hunger-for-your-cock. ... Even quite male-centric depictions of female sexuality often include not just consent but enthusiastic desire and orgasm. The idea that men's natural instincts are rape-centric isn't supported even by media that serve their most private predilections.
There are several different classes of bumper sticker. There is, of course, the allegiance-to-a-cause bumper sticker, epitomized by the various political and religious bumper stickers. Subclasses include the more threatening evangelical ones like, "If you're living as if there is no God, you'd better be right!" and the positioning oneself as a do-gooder "There's no excuse for domestic violence" variety. Both of these still advertise the user's allegiance to a cause, and that's still their main function.
Then, of course, there are the humor and philosophy category. "What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?" and "I love cats. Wanna trade recipes?" fall into this category. The idea is that the sticker brought a smile to the reader's face, and he hopes it will to yours as well.
But then, today, I saw this sticker: "It's time for you to pull over and change the air in your head." That's neither funny nor philosophical. To whom is it addressed? To every driver except the man behind the wheel?
At best, it proclaims allegiance to the subcommunity best known as "dickheads."
Then, of course, there are the humor and philosophy category. "What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?" and "I love cats. Wanna trade recipes?" fall into this category. The idea is that the sticker brought a smile to the reader's face, and he hopes it will to yours as well.
But then, today, I saw this sticker: "It's time for you to pull over and change the air in your head." That's neither funny nor philosophical. To whom is it addressed? To every driver except the man behind the wheel?
At best, it proclaims allegiance to the subcommunity best known as "dickheads."
You're watching WHAT?
Jun. 19th, 2011 01:30 pmI went to the mall this morning with the kids to see a movie. As we walked through the mall, we passed by a table at which there was one adult woman in her mid-30s and four children. One was a girl maybe six, the rest were younger. The woman had a laptop open at one edge of the table, and they were watching a video.
I'm not sure what video it was. It was a cartoon, and what I saw as I briefly walked by was two talking heads, facing each other, squared iron jaws jawing.
It was the URL at the bottom of the screen that gave me pause: "www.HentaiTheory.com" (no link; they don't need the advertising.)
I hope she got there by accident. I seriously hope she figures out what she's looking at before the kids do.
I'm not sure what video it was. It was a cartoon, and what I saw as I briefly walked by was two talking heads, facing each other, squared iron jaws jawing.
It was the URL at the bottom of the screen that gave me pause: "www.HentaiTheory.com" (no link; they don't need the advertising.)
I hope she got there by accident. I seriously hope she figures out what she's looking at before the kids do.
It's kismet!
Jun. 4th, 2011 09:55 pmSo, Slate magazine allows Nather Heller to complain about pie. Yes, the food substance, pie. He complains that pie is "gloppy, soggy, and un-American."
At a cafe and pie store I visited this afternoon, I found this quote:
At a cafe and pie store I visited this afternoon, I found this quote:
It is utterly insufficient (to eat pie only twice a week), as anyone who knows the secret of our strength as a nation and the foundation of our industrial supremacy must admit. Pie is the American synonym of prosperity, and its varying contents the calendar of the changing seasons. Pie is the food of the heroic. No pie-eating people can ever be permanently vanquished.
— New York Times Editorial, 1902
Wow, the cognitive dissonance here *hurts*
Jun. 1st, 2011 04:27 pmI don't remember how I got there, but I stumbled upon a websited dedicated to "Evangelical Catholicism." The writer was talking about using incremental changes to restrict women's rights further, and an one point mentions "... defeating our powerful but blundering foe. Exposing their inhuman, vile international agenda is a start."
What is this "inhuman, vile international agenda?" The link goes to the Planned Parenthood Federation's declaration of sexual rights:
No, seriously, how detached do you have to be from the human condition, how divorced from your own body and its desires, how much of a hermit from your own soul do you have to be to describe the list above as "vile" and "inhuman?" I feel sorry for EC, but I would never suggest that his patriarchal, authoritarian agenda is anything but, sadly, fully human.
What is this "inhuman, vile international agenda?" The link goes to the Planned Parenthood Federation's declaration of sexual rights:
IPPF works to promote sexual and reproductive rights for everyone. IPPF realises and believes that sexual rights are a part of human rights. Therefore, IPPF believes that having sexual rights adds to the freedom, equality and dignity of all people. The IPPF declaration is grounded in and informed by international agreements such as United Nation Conventions.Those inhuman, vile bastards!
1. IPPF recognises that sexuality is an important part of being human throughout one’s life.
2. IPPF supports a vision that aims to respect, protect and advance the rights of all persons to sexual autonomy and to promote sexual health and rights within a framework of non-discrimination
3. IPPF believes that it is important to create accountable structures, and to encourage government policies and laws which will make sure that these rights are protected for everyone and where possible promoted and fulfilled/enjoyed.
...
The IPPF Supports the following rights:
The right to equality, equal protection of the law and freedom from all forms of discrimination based on sex, sexuality or gender
The right to participation for all persons, regardless of sex, sexuality or gender
The right to life, liberty, security of the person and bodily integrity
The right to privacy
The right to personal autonomy and recognition before the law
The right to freedom of thought, opinion and expression; right to association
The right to health and to the benefits of scientific progress
The right to education and information
The right to choose whether or not to marry and to found and plan a family, and to decide whether or not, how and when, to have children
The right to accountability and redress
No, seriously, how detached do you have to be from the human condition, how divorced from your own body and its desires, how much of a hermit from your own soul do you have to be to describe the list above as "vile" and "inhuman?" I feel sorry for EC, but I would never suggest that his patriarchal, authoritarian agenda is anything but, sadly, fully human.
Really? Has it come to this? Commercializing other people's capacity for failure in such an obvious way?
I am reminded of a quote from Usenet: "Your rage is useless. Your rage will be packaged, branded and sold back to you as entertainment. Get used to it."
Apparently, so will your pathos.
I am reminded of a quote from Usenet: "Your rage is useless. Your rage will be packaged, branded and sold back to you as entertainment. Get used to it."
Apparently, so will your pathos.
That's NOT Entertainment!
May. 8th, 2011 05:58 pmComplaining about the quality of journalism in The National Enquirer is certainly tilting at an entire modern windfarm, but this week's edition has to count as one of the most decisively poor (in both quality and taste) examples of editorial dereliction in recent memory.
The headline reads: "Osama's Last Minutes! He Cried And Begged For His Life."
As has been reported from many sites, Bin Laden was not to be killed if he conspicuously surrendered. The rules of engagement were crafted to minimize the deaths of women and children, and if everything went peacefully, the SEALs would not have had to open fire at all.
What bothers me most about this is how bloodthirsty even The National Enquirer seems to expect its readers to have become. I hear Maximus roaring in the background, "Are you not entertained?"
The headline reads: "Osama's Last Minutes! He Cried And Begged For His Life."
As has been reported from many sites, Bin Laden was not to be killed if he conspicuously surrendered. The rules of engagement were crafted to minimize the deaths of women and children, and if everything went peacefully, the SEALs would not have had to open fire at all.
What bothers me most about this is how bloodthirsty even The National Enquirer seems to expect its readers to have become. I hear Maximus roaring in the background, "Are you not entertained?"
Today, at Toys 'R Us (Kouryou-chan wanted to burn some gift cards and expand her collection of Harry Potter LEGOs), I saw a license plate that read "ALALLAH".
Even in Seattle, that's a fairly brave statement to make. I recalled a kerfluffle several years ago about whether or not atheist vanity plates (with words like "ATHEIST" or "ISNOGOD") were offensive, and how some states have pulled such plates. Washington State has dismissed complaints against "JOHN316" as a plate, although it did recall "C9H13N", the chemical formula for methamphetamine. The rules state that a plate may not be "vulgar, obscene, or offensive," although the state will pull plates with drug or alcohol references.
(Hmm... I wonder how a LEV2013 plate would fare?)
Even in Seattle, that's a fairly brave statement to make. I recalled a kerfluffle several years ago about whether or not atheist vanity plates (with words like "ATHEIST" or "ISNOGOD") were offensive, and how some states have pulled such plates. Washington State has dismissed complaints against "JOHN316" as a plate, although it did recall "C9H13N", the chemical formula for methamphetamine. The rules state that a plate may not be "vulgar, obscene, or offensive," although the state will pull plates with drug or alcohol references.
(Hmm... I wonder how a LEV2013 plate would fare?)
ADHD Morning
Apr. 27th, 2011 09:22 amThere's a guy in a seat in front of me on the train. He has his laptop open. His wallpaper is a shot from the Portal 2 comic. He's trying to watch a ripped copy of Game of Thrones, but he can't seem to concentrate, keeps popping out of it, opening another window, closing the window, going back to the video. ADHD morning, I guess. I've had those.
Apparently, even in oh-so-correct Seattle, people take a while to figure out how to throw stuff away. The local Starbucks has undergone Howard Schultz's latest brainfart redesign (take out the ten foot display? Really, Howard? How did telling us what we were listening to distract us from buying your coffee?) and they've put in two different trash receptacles, one clearly labeled "garbarge" and the other "recycling." People are still throwing food-waste and used napkins in the recycling bin.
This is just as bad as Tully's, a local competing brand (the one not owned by Starbucks; Seattle's Best Coffee was bought in Starbuck's massive acquisition spree in 2006, along with Terrafazione). They have three receptacles: garbage, compostable, and recycling. People almost get it right-- the cups say "Compostable" right on the sides. But they always include the plastic lid.
I figure eventually people will figure it out. Pity the poor employee who has to deal with it until then.
This is just as bad as Tully's, a local competing brand (the one not owned by Starbucks; Seattle's Best Coffee was bought in Starbuck's massive acquisition spree in 2006, along with Terrafazione). They have three receptacles: garbage, compostable, and recycling. People almost get it right-- the cups say "Compostable" right on the sides. But they always include the plastic lid.
I figure eventually people will figure it out. Pity the poor employee who has to deal with it until then.
Typography shouldn't make you giggle
Mar. 28th, 2011 10:05 am I've been meaning to get a photo of this place for months. I understand that you want a vibrant sign for your business, but when you choose a font, I'm not so sure Galactica says what you want it to say.
Unless what you want to say is, "We secretly do 'bodywork' for Cylon Centurions, if you get my drift."
Unless what you want to say is, "We secretly do 'bodywork' for Cylon Centurions, if you get my drift."
"Disney Rave Edition"
Mar. 22nd, 2011 06:42 pmI spotted a Dance Dance Revolution "Disney Rave Edition" at the local arcade (and yes, there is one still surviving here in Seattle). Mickey scratches records, but it's the way Pluto stands, with his backside to the viewer, wiggling it in your face like a bad parody of Baby Got Back, that is really disturbing.
All it needs is for Chip and Dale to be visibly licking their fingers to get some E and it would be perfect.
All it needs is for Chip and Dale to be visibly licking their fingers to get some E and it would be perfect.
Stop that! You'll go blind!
Feb. 8th, 2011 07:59 amI'm such a dirty old man sometimes.
There's a girls-only Catholic high school near my old office, and some mornings, if traffic is fine, I am treated to the most otaku sight possible: a gaggle of young women in the sort of uniforms that pepper fantasy anime landscapes.
Apparently, today is one of those peculiar fun rituals that high schools put their kids through, because today they were not all arrayed around the gates in school girl uniform, today there were a dozen of them all wearing colorful pyjamas and many were carrying overstuffed teddy bears.
Good heavens! I feel fiction coming on.
There's a girls-only Catholic high school near my old office, and some mornings, if traffic is fine, I am treated to the most otaku sight possible: a gaggle of young women in the sort of uniforms that pepper fantasy anime landscapes.
Apparently, today is one of those peculiar fun rituals that high schools put their kids through, because today they were not all arrayed around the gates in school girl uniform, today there were a dozen of them all wearing colorful pyjamas and many were carrying overstuffed teddy bears.
Good heavens! I feel fiction coming on.
There is a chain of lingere stores in the Seattle area that caters to the mainstream, middle-class shoppers looking to spice up their sex lives: a broad wall of condoms, lingere in the front, massage oils, flavored lubricants and novelties in the middle, a small nook of unchallenging porn and a wide variety of sex toys in the back. Given the state of the art in porn, the sex toys reflect a wide variety of activities: some bondage toys, a panel of dildos, a panel of mostly anal toys, a panel of masturbation sleeves, that sort of thing.
I go there a couple of times a year, mostly to renew my condom supplies, and I noticed a change in the toy selection. Among all the random, non-threateningly sized sex toys, this particular chain always had one gag dildo: something absolutely monstrous. For a while, the standard toy found in all their shops was the Caterpillar, which is guaranteed to scare the hair off a mundane, although I know one store had a Cannonshot, and another had a Ream-And-Dream. Think: Two liters, or almost six pounds, of latex in each of these. All of these are from the same manufacturer, TSX Toys of UK.
Recently, though, none of the stores have had anything like that. I decided to ask the woman behind the counter. "Someone bought it," she said, indicating the space where the Caterpillar used to stand.
"You not going to re-order?"
"People kept buying them," she said, and for some reason she sounded distraught at the very notion. "Those aren't the kind of thing we want to be known for. So we decided to stop ordering them."
I didn't persue it further, but that sounds like a weird decision: you sell sex toys, you find a brand of sex toys that sells so well you keep selling out, and you discontinue carrying that brand? That doesn't seem like a smart business decision: it's not as if other patrons had to know who was buying the monsters, or why.
I go there a couple of times a year, mostly to renew my condom supplies, and I noticed a change in the toy selection. Among all the random, non-threateningly sized sex toys, this particular chain always had one gag dildo: something absolutely monstrous. For a while, the standard toy found in all their shops was the Caterpillar, which is guaranteed to scare the hair off a mundane, although I know one store had a Cannonshot, and another had a Ream-And-Dream. Think: Two liters, or almost six pounds, of latex in each of these. All of these are from the same manufacturer, TSX Toys of UK.
Recently, though, none of the stores have had anything like that. I decided to ask the woman behind the counter. "Someone bought it," she said, indicating the space where the Caterpillar used to stand.
"You not going to re-order?"
"People kept buying them," she said, and for some reason she sounded distraught at the very notion. "Those aren't the kind of thing we want to be known for. So we decided to stop ordering them."
I didn't persue it further, but that sounds like a weird decision: you sell sex toys, you find a brand of sex toys that sells so well you keep selling out, and you discontinue carrying that brand? That doesn't seem like a smart business decision: it's not as if other patrons had to know who was buying the monsters, or why.
Remarkable planet, really
Jan. 19th, 2011 09:58 amThere's a portion of First Avenue that twists and turns as it follows the topography of Puget Sound, descending from the town of Burien into the marina district. It's two-lane and many drivers take it far too fast. Yesterday, during a dark and rainy afternoon, I saw the consequences: in one of the most twisty parts, an SUV and a Honda Accord had had a brief one-third head-on encounter.
I must have arrived within minutes of the accident; traffic was not yet backed up appreciably. Nobody seemed injured; both cars had airbags and the damage wasn't that great, so my guess is that one car was waiting for a turn. It looked as if the Accord driver had gone over the line and hit the SUV.
Already, several cars had pulled over to render assistance or provide witnesses. Remarkably, several people had already broken open emergency kits from the backs of their cars and deployed flares. Even more remarkably, two men were already directing traffic, controlling access to the one remaining lane back and forth. Neither could see the other around the bend, so they were using cell phones.
As a fully realized rational instance of Homo Economicus, I wondered why. After all, there's nothing in it for these people. They don't get any rational benefit at all from participating. Their economic value isn't improved; nor, really, does their social value increase in any appreciable way. The others are strangers, unlikely to be encountered ever again. These strangers burn resources and decrease their long-term prospects by participating in these acts.
I almost wanted to shout out my window, "Go home! You're just wasting your precious time here!" But then, that would have not been a rational use of my resources. Also, given that those people were clearly not rational themselves, the reaction to my stimuli would also not have been rational or predictable. Best to play it safe, then. Just move along.
I must have arrived within minutes of the accident; traffic was not yet backed up appreciably. Nobody seemed injured; both cars had airbags and the damage wasn't that great, so my guess is that one car was waiting for a turn. It looked as if the Accord driver had gone over the line and hit the SUV.
Already, several cars had pulled over to render assistance or provide witnesses. Remarkably, several people had already broken open emergency kits from the backs of their cars and deployed flares. Even more remarkably, two men were already directing traffic, controlling access to the one remaining lane back and forth. Neither could see the other around the bend, so they were using cell phones.
As a fully realized rational instance of Homo Economicus, I wondered why. After all, there's nothing in it for these people. They don't get any rational benefit at all from participating. Their economic value isn't improved; nor, really, does their social value increase in any appreciable way. The others are strangers, unlikely to be encountered ever again. These strangers burn resources and decrease their long-term prospects by participating in these acts.
I almost wanted to shout out my window, "Go home! You're just wasting your precious time here!" But then, that would have not been a rational use of my resources. Also, given that those people were clearly not rational themselves, the reaction to my stimuli would also not have been rational or predictable. Best to play it safe, then. Just move along.