No, Seriously, On What Planet Did This Happen?

[elfs]

A sensationalist, yellow-rag article in the NY Post about an accident at an S&M Club in NY City has me fuming.

I'm steamed at the "journamalism." There's an obviously taken-by-surprise photograph of the top and the artice implies she was a pro. There's a "did you know this was happening in your neighborhood?" kind of breathlessness to the writing. There's an excessive amount of prurient detail to the description of the victim: the nipple clamps, the hood, the high-heeled shoes.

More than that, I'm horrified by several of the details. The top at the club (called "The Nutcracker Suite") left the victim alone in a choke position for more than 20 minutes? What kind of idiocy is that? There was no panic snap on the chain (chain? My gods, you use rope for this kind of thing and you carry nursing shears and a panic snap at all times!). If he was incommunicado you put something in his hand that he can drop when he needs to signal your attention. And I have to repeat myself: she left him alone‽

And what completes my horror is the details of his rescue: The club allowed him in without proper ID. The only thing he had on his person was a freakin' bus pass!

Good gods, the damn place charged $100/hr.

Okay. I'm going to take a deep breath. I'm going to say it out loud: "I am spoiled."

I have been spoiled since 1991 when, tracking down an obscure message on an obscure local BBS, I first attended C-Space, where I met Celeste (did you know Celeste has a blog? Rock on!) and the first thing she taught me (all of us, actually) was how not to get hurt. How to leave your information with a trusted friend, how to negotiate for what you wanted (and didn't want). How to use safewords. I have spent the last 15 years of my life repeating those lessons (not always successfully, but often enough to have made it this far alive, healthy, and suffering only the indignities of passing time) and trying to teach them to others.

Within a year I had met many more people. Some of you still read this blog. At least two of you, one of whom I had known long before Celeste, and one of whom I met shortly after that fateful night, are beautiful people with whom I'm still getting messy and kinky on a regular basis. The club I go to charges between $15 and $30 a night, depending on the event, although you do kinda have to bring your own partner. The clubs I have attended have always been classy, above-board, concerned for your safety first, and insistent that somewhere your real name and ID are kept, just in case of emergencies such as these.

There is no excuse for what happened that night. The incompetence and arrogance of the Nutcracker Suite are simply mind-boggling. The Post is sensationalizing the poor victim; it ought to be going after the damn club for its mendacious and dangerous stupidity.

Grief, I'm glad I live in Seattle. We used to joke, back when Kinky Couples was around, that the rest of the world didn't believe just how nice kinky people had it here. When KC shut down, we broadcast to the world that Seattle had fallen back to being "ordinary." But that's not true: we're still better. The lessons learned from Kinky Couples make us better. I could care less about the NY Post (and it's gleeful followers-on), but I hope that the attention dropped on the Nutcracker Suite makes it either shut down, or learn its lessons well.

[Edit: I can't help but giggle at The Gothamist version of the story, which features a photo of a pair of handcuffs and this sweet addition: Image of Kookie Cuffs, which can be purchased at Toys in Babeland. Yay for Toys In Babeland!]

Comments

[whipartist.livejournal.com]

No shit. If someone really wants to be left alone, you do that by walking outside the door and watching through a cleverly disguised window, or you have a video feed, or something. I can think of half a dozen ways to do this safely, while still convincing him that he's alone.

It's the whole west coast that's lucky, not just Seattle. Portland and San Francisco also have it pretty damned good, and have for years.

[dr-memory.livejournal.com]

I have to say: after having been in the NYC scene for most of a decade, I'd never heard of the "Nutcracker Suite". The Post claims it's been around for 10+ years, but frankly I'm dubious: it sounds pretty damn fly-by-night, and I somehow doubt that the Post actually looked up their articles of incorporation or lease papers.

NYC doesn't lack for nice spaces for kinky people to play in (http://www.paddlesnyc.com/) or professionally-run dom houses: this place appears to have been neither. Sad.

[antonia-tiger.livejournal.com]

I tend to cynical scepticism about the press in such matters. I can see how some faked risk might be reported as real by the "victim", but newspapers don't sell from honest reporting of sexual kinks.

So it's good, and unsurprising, to hear that this place isn't typical, and may not have been around for as long as the Post claims.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[kengr]

Just a note. A friend who's done *professional* rigging basically says that panic snaps should *never* be used in any sort of suspension setup. They give a false sense of safety and can fail in not good ways.

[cadetstar.livejournal.com]

I'd be wary of a piece of equipment outside of the top's immediate control, especially if the bottom's hands are restrained in some way (or even if not, due to delayed reaction time).

I am not a top and I haven't been in many scenes at all, most of my experience comes from reading online and from one educational organization here in Houston.

But speaking on my limited experience... Chain should not be used directly against human skin in a support situation. If you want the sensation, use a chain choker and do the support with a rope.

-Michael

[elfs.livejournal.com]

I was under the impression that this wasn't suspension, and definitely a scenario where failure would have been preferable. Still, there's a reason why I like rope and a decent pair of shears.

[kengr]

For thinner rope and leather straps/cuffs a seat belt cutter is handy as well.

[bbw-seska.livejournal.com]

Sounds like planet braindamage to me :S
I'm not the world leader in smart bdsm practicing (since that would entitle actually practicing actively :P) but by god, I know how it's NOT done :S
That there's one gem for the 'don't try THAT at home' speeches.

[eddvick.livejournal.com]

Japundit had more about the top.
http://japundit.com/archives/2008/02/15/7876/

[elfs.livejournal.com]

I can't believe they included a link to the Nutcracker's website.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_candide_/]

Bear in mind that this is "The NY (com)Post" that we're talking about here.
They print any half-truth that sensationalizes the Long Island suburbanites. The paper's owned by Rupert Murdoch, after all.