I promised many months ago that I would finish these and put them up, and so, after much consideration, tweaking, tuning, and adjusting of continuity, I have:
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Date: 2008-02-02 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 02:13 am (UTC)just before Chapter 6--"a ripe, vile smile erupted as fluids splashed from the shattered ceramic."
beginning of Chapter 6--"certainly, she had newer made love to another woman before."
I think I'll have to make time to roam through some of your other writings. I read "A Night on Thunderra" back in the alt.sex.bondage days, though.
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Date: 2008-02-03 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 04:05 am (UTC)CthaWorld
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Date: 2008-02-03 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 04:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 03:04 pm (UTC)Noun missing in "And then was still."
"...as Henri's mouth slip up the length..." Should be either "slid" or "slipped."
I didn't enjoy this adventure as much as the "Rome" one, but then I didn't expect to. (And, yes, I've seen Marat/Sade, and didn't enjoy it except for some of the music.) I hope Jack has some sex he can truly enjoy soon.
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Date: 2008-02-04 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 03:07 pm (UTC)Well, obviously I agree with that. :-)
Not surprisingly, the third story is more my cup of tea, although I'm amused that poor Jack still gets the worst of the adventure.
"Nymph" typos:
if she kept her eyes opened.... It seems like it should be "open" instead since she hadn't just opened them. But that might be style more than grammar.
The woman smile was....
...if he ever become comfortable....
...Sappho grasped an Annie's gift.... Word missing? Or did you mean "on" rather than "an"?
...as one after another preclimax pleasures.... Should probably be either "as, one after another, preclimax pleasures," or "as one after another preclimax pleasure."
...one to many.... "too"
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Date: 2008-02-08 07:45 am (UTC)There were only the book about Frogton.
He just wish....
That's just the way she was. Change in tense.
A waiter came buy....
...in full view of her writhing, gasping sister.... Should be "his."
"I wish we could home," Verb missing.
Interesting, well-written series, though not my cup of tea. (I almost stopped reading the fourth adventure, not because of the "decadence" but because of the sci-fi.)
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Date: 2008-02-27 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-05 04:09 pm (UTC)