Shitty First Draft Finished, Sir!
Jan. 31st, 2008 10:46 pm"Goodbye, Nico." He watched as the sleek, sweet Bastet turned and walked with his impossible grace to his car of the train and leapt in. Other faces followed Nico, some contemptuous, some curious, some wistful. The train blew its whistle. Porters closed the doors. The train strained against inertia. It pulled and each car jerked as it surrendered its slack and added its weight to the engine's responsibilities.
The car holding Nico moved. Matt followed it. He chased it as it picked up speed down the line. He wanted one last glimpse of Nico, one last look. But the car pulled away faster than he could run and he reached the edge of the platform and the fence and there was nowhere else to go. He wanted to reach out and grab the last car, sink his fingers into it and hold onto it until the train stopped or the engine ripped out his nails.
Something of Matt went with the train, trailing behind it, a cloud like dust and pollen and dandelions, curling and flying in the blowing wake of the train, flying toward the heaven, leaving behind only an empty shell in heavy-duty cotton clothing, another scarecrow stuffed with the tailings of harvest, doing his duty to his farm.
Yeah, bittersweet without being extra-dark. Unhappy, unambiguously so, but at least nobody died. Both Matt and Nico are changed forever, and it's not a story without that (at least, it's not for me).
10,926 words in 11 days. Hey, I'm only 74 words behind quota!
With stories like these...
Date: 2008-02-01 08:20 am (UTC)Thank you for once again writing and publishing something for us to enjoy.
I am looking forward to it hitting the web site.
MPK