"You're good people."

[elfs]

Omaha and I were down to the last bit of our bottle of Kama Sutra "serenity" massage oil, so I went into one of those mid-scale lingere all-in-one adult toystores scattered throughout the geography of suburbia to buy a new bottle. Lingere, massage oils and gag gifts up front; mainstream sex toys (no manrammers, dragon's eggs or even fleshlights back there) and porn along the back wall. The woman behind the counter, one of those women sufficiently padded so that there was not one bone visible on her, smiled as I walked it. "I like your kilt!"

I thanked her and waved her off; I knew what I was looking for. After a few minutes, I found it and we went started through the transaction process when she said, "Oh, this one's all goopy. Let me get you one that hasn't been fondled by people who've been playing with the tester bottle." She came back a few seconds later with the exchange and said, "We do that for the good people."

"Why do I qualify?" I said. It was a bit of a mystery; it's not as if I go into there more than three or four times a year.

"You treat me like a human being. You look me in the eye."

"As opposed to?"

"As opposed to the ones who scuttle in, grab a movie, throw money at you like you were contaminated, and scuttle out again."

I just couldn't picture that kind of long-coat wearing, hunched-over figure walking through Lover's Package. I mean, it's no Babeland, but it's hardly one of the skeezy bookstores that dot the more rundown corridors of Seattle.

Comments

[antonia-tiger.livejournal.com]

Some of us old folk are more easily embarrassed than you are.

[hydrolagus.livejournal.com]

Perhaps she's referring not so much to the long-coat type as the Nice Citizens that are ashamed to be in a sexually-oriented store, hence the "throw money at you like you were contaminated" part--clearly if a woman isn't horrified to work at such a place, she must be a total skank. We'd get those when I worked at Love Pantry.

[bldrnrpdx.livejournal.com]

I worked at a tacky lingerie/adult novelty store in a mall for a summer a while back. Even in the mall, with no real sex toys ("tightening lube" sure, but no insertables, mostly very tacky lingerie and Love Dice), we got some real winners for customers. You betcha we'd make the effort to treat well the folks who'd look us in the eye and use complete sentences.

[doodlesthegreat.livejournal.com]

I believe hydrolagus has the correct answer. Snooty yuppies who don't want to soil themselves by being in contact with the people who run such sordid locations. Even if they did end up buying the Baby Jesus buttplug...

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Don't you mean the George Bush (http://fleshbot.com/sex/sex-toys/sex-toy-of-the-week-george-bush-butt-plug-203631.php) butt-plug? (A real toy, and NSFW link) I mean, the man is supposed to be a real source of authoritarian pleasure, isn't he?

[doodlesthegreat.livejournal.com]

I would be scared to use a GWB buttplug. Imagine the embarassment if it was stuck and I had to go to the emergency room. I'd be on Homeland Security's short list to Guantanamo.