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Writers often divide words into two categories: scaffolding words, and functional words. Scaffolding words are all the words we use all the time: "The," "is," "said." Functional words are those that actually move the story. You wouldn't use "hurtle," "admonish," "furious," too often and too close to one another because then they become repetitious and the reader gets the impression that your vocabulary is limited.

I thought about the difference between these two kinds of words when I came across the use of the word 'congenitally' twice in Sterlings. Polly (one of Rhiane's peers) uses it first: "Rhiane was congenitally incapable of caring about her appearance herself." And Tempany (Rhiane's commanding officer) uses it later again to describe Rhiane: "She's congenitally incapable of giving less than her best."

These two incidents are separated by about 50,000 words, which makes me wonder if I should bother cutting one out. I figure that's enough time for the reader to have forgotten the first one. But it's still one of those places where a Big Functional Word appears twice in the same book, and it's a standout word, so I think twice about using it.

Date: 2007-04-14 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfs.livejournal.com
I don't think my audience is "dumb," but it is an unusual enough word (a word you don't use every day) and having it show up twice in the same book can be disconcerting.

Date: 2007-04-14 07:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memegarden.livejournal.com
I'd notice it. Not so much for the single word used twice, but the same phrasing used twice.

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Elf Sternberg

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