100,000 words in one head.

[elfs]

Writers often divide words into two categories: scaffolding words, and functional words. Scaffolding words are all the words we use all the time: "The," "is," "said." Functional words are those that actually move the story. You wouldn't use "hurtle," "admonish," "furious," too often and too close to one another because then they become repetitious and the reader gets the impression that your vocabulary is limited.

I thought about the difference between these two kinds of words when I came across the use of the word 'congenitally' twice in Sterlings. Polly (one of Rhiane's peers) uses it first: "Rhiane was congenitally incapable of caring about her appearance herself." And Tempany (Rhiane's commanding officer) uses it later again to describe Rhiane: "She's congenitally incapable of giving less than her best."

These two incidents are separated by about 50,000 words, which makes me wonder if I should bother cutting one out. I figure that's enough time for the reader to have forgotten the first one. But it's still one of those places where a Big Functional Word appears twice in the same book, and it's a standout word, so I think twice about using it.

Comments

It's more than a Big Functional Word.

[(Anonymous)]

1. It's an entire stock phrase: "X is/was congenitally incapable of Y" 2. It's in *dialog* spoken by *different* characters. I don't so much mind the author using a stock phrase twice in 50,000 words. But when two different characters use the same stock phrase, I think it can be worse. But your characters are using an expression that's not outrageously rare in our language, so it's not entirely implausible as a coincidence. Worst of all is when two or more characters use the same very unusual expressions with no obvious reason that they would be sharing such expressions. Ayn Rand has sometimes gotten on my nerves by doing this a few times in the course of an entire novel. But you're writing skiffy or even SF, so if you find yourself portraying different characters using the same unusual expression in the same story, you can invent a clever expression that's part of a culture of which they are both members, or by which they are both influenced. Using the same expression isn't laziness anymore; it's world building! :-) But if that doesn't appeal to you, or doesn't seem to work naturally for you, remember, no written work is perfect and yousa gotta prioritize what youse gonna fix or change. :-)