Bad Smut the People pay for.
Jan. 20th, 2007 11:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsI've been going through Ellora's Cave and the other on-line "romantica" sites and reading their previews and, oh gods, if this is what people are willing to pay for, I despair.
"Tilly Greene" (Venus Publishing) makes every beginning writer's mistake in the book: an "Elvin princess" who starts out her memoirs as if she were a valley girl who has only ever read California chick lit, and a cowboy romance novel that starts out with a ton of exposition about the ranch because, y'know, Brokeback Mountain (the movie, not the book) had all these beautiful vistas that just put you in the mood, y'know, and so, like, y'know, that's how she wanted to write and give you that sense, so, like, y'know, that's how the book starts, right? (If you've read Proulx's original novella, you know that she's much more interested in the characters than she is in the background, just like the movie.)
"Toni Mellieur" seems to believe that putting vampires on space stations and making them talk like they were in a 1970s disco film is somehow new or interesting.
And if that weren't enough, there's one more. The writer of Nyssa's Guardian has a new book, A Centaur for Libby. She's getting better but she still has a long way to go. Sentence #1: "Dark-haired [ding] Libby Daniels, public defender extraordinaire [ding], champion of the hopeless [ding] and overall queen of lost causes [ding], squirmed uncomfortably in her deep leather chair." The scene progresses as Libby confesses to her therapist her dreams of having sex with a centaur-- and here, as a furry writer, I'm deeply disappointed that Ms. Reese lacks the courage to give our centaur horsecock, but instead it's big but human-shaped. Yawn. Not that Libby gets her hands on it. After this scene, there is scene two, and the first two sentences are: "Humas beings were not a myth, nor was their fantasy world known as Earth. this was the conclusion reached by Markos the Centaur shortly after appearing from thin air in the middle of a strange forest of high, steel towers, points sharp as arrows."
Yeah, well. Markos is a greek god in all sorts of physical ways. Unfortunately, Ms. Reese has a limited imagination and when he finally gets Libby alone in a room, she's overwhelmed by his dominant, stallionesque charisma and he starts ordering her around like he just walked out of a Gor novel, violating the character development Reese had done for him up to that moment.
Bleah.
"Tilly Greene" (Venus Publishing) makes every beginning writer's mistake in the book: an "Elvin princess" who starts out her memoirs as if she were a valley girl who has only ever read California chick lit, and a cowboy romance novel that starts out with a ton of exposition about the ranch because, y'know, Brokeback Mountain (the movie, not the book) had all these beautiful vistas that just put you in the mood, y'know, and so, like, y'know, that's how she wanted to write and give you that sense, so, like, y'know, that's how the book starts, right? (If you've read Proulx's original novella, you know that she's much more interested in the characters than she is in the background, just like the movie.)
"Toni Mellieur" seems to believe that putting vampires on space stations and making them talk like they were in a 1970s disco film is somehow new or interesting.
And if that weren't enough, there's one more. The writer of Nyssa's Guardian has a new book, A Centaur for Libby. She's getting better but she still has a long way to go. Sentence #1: "Dark-haired [ding] Libby Daniels, public defender extraordinaire [ding], champion of the hopeless [ding] and overall queen of lost causes [ding], squirmed uncomfortably in her deep leather chair." The scene progresses as Libby confesses to her therapist her dreams of having sex with a centaur-- and here, as a furry writer, I'm deeply disappointed that Ms. Reese lacks the courage to give our centaur horsecock, but instead it's big but human-shaped. Yawn. Not that Libby gets her hands on it. After this scene, there is scene two, and the first two sentences are: "Humas beings were not a myth, nor was their fantasy world known as Earth. this was the conclusion reached by Markos the Centaur shortly after appearing from thin air in the middle of a strange forest of high, steel towers, points sharp as arrows."
Yeah, well. Markos is a greek god in all sorts of physical ways. Unfortunately, Ms. Reese has a limited imagination and when he finally gets Libby alone in a room, she's overwhelmed by his dominant, stallionesque charisma and he starts ordering her around like he just walked out of a Gor novel, violating the character development Reese had done for him up to that moment.
Bleah.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 08:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 10:08 am (UTC)But there seems to be two kinds of "bad" in all this. There's the bad writing, and then there's the bad sexuality. Much as some site take well-made pictures of naked women and label them with words like "slut" and "whote".
We don't need those labels. We don't need to think that a willing MOTAS is somehow a degenerate. But it seems there must be people who do. And that's worrying. It sometimes feels like part of a deliberate attempt to keep women scared.
But that's a bit of a leap from what Elf is reporting. Which seems to be mostly bad writing.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 10:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 10:24 am (UTC)Also? It took me some few minutes to decide what "MOTAS" meant. The old game "Mystery of Time and Space" was what I thought of first, and that brought to mind a handful of strange images. But you're entirely right - decent smut should also promote a healthy sort of sexuality, as well as be written well and smokin' hot. Heck of a challenge, that is.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 11:10 am (UTC)But that was still a nothing-really-bad effort, so I can live with it.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 09:47 am (UTC)Also, a centaur that isn't actually hung like a horse is a cop-out.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 03:32 pm (UTC)Torquere Press has pretty exacting standards. And gets first refusal because they are my primary publisher.
Phaze is next. They get rewrites and some original stuff.
Venus and EC tie for third, and mainly because they will go print if the material is long enough. But they will make one "write stupid" because the average romantica reader doesn't WANT to have to think. She wants to zip through, all fluffy and heated, until the saruisfyingly happy ending. ("too much plot" is what i was told about one EC submission)
70s disco vampires on a space station. *shudder* I know people who could make it work, be funny and sexy (the vamp has been asleep since 1979, and is in culture shock) and turn out a pretty good story.
(And if I were writing the centaur, he'd be double hung, just as he had two stomachs: a human one and a horse one)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 05:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 05:39 pm (UTC)I've been cussing Elf all day for this entry. I now the start of a story involving the damn vampires.
"This is shuttle Demeter requesting docking clearance. We have your techs, and several tonnes of experimental earth."
no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 06:10 pm (UTC)The point made is a valid one and I find good editing really depends on the editor. I've been lucky, but then I pretty much stay with contemporary stories that push the kink level rather than try to put vampires in space or were-animals...anywhere. Just not my thing, although I know some readers really love those stories. Still, I think those must be much harder to edit because the genre requirements are being bent all over the place.
I had to laugh, however, at the comment from the author told she had too much plot. My first book got good reviews from every review site but one. That one site complained because there wasn't enough sex...the plot got in the way! In spite of the low rating, I treasure that review for it's left-handed compliment.
While these books are designed as quick reads that are really meant for light reading, there is no excuse for poor editing. Good post!
Diana Hunter