elfs | Miss Universe, first impressions.

Miss Argentina and Miss Trinada & Tabago are having a go-round for my lust. Seriously. Both are absolutely hot, and for completely different reasons.

Miss Russia, Miss UK, and Miss USA can all look forward to useful jobs at Hooters, from their looks. Miss Austria would like to remind us all that Austrians are a warlike people. Miss Israel would have half a chance if she smiled once in a while. Miss Sweden apparently works as an escort fulfilling men's "Heidi" fantasies. Miss Virgin Islands has some incredible muscles. Miss Korea is indeed very cute. Surprising me, at least, Miss Belgium is black, and Miss India is painfully English. Looking into the eyes of Miss Phillipines you can tell that she has the legs of a dancer. Miss Lebanon wears glasses and my heart goes pitter-pat. Miss Latvia and Miss Switzerland get prizes in the "Whiter than Michael Jackson will ever be" category. Miss Turks & Caicos is cute, but Miss South Africa, Miss Angola, and Miss Zambia are just hot. Miss Brazil has the biggest boobs (sorry, I'm a guy these things Must Be Noticed). And Miss Japan should just be ashamed of herself for that horrible, horrible costume.