James Dobson / Raul Julia slash

[elfs]

I had this sick, sick, sick idea for some slash, where James Dobson (of Focus on the Family) reprises the Jean Claude Van Damme role' from Streetfighter (you can just see him in the blue beanie, can't you?) and takes on General M. Bison (played by Raul Julia doing an Evil Overlord to the hilt!) and has to fight his roundhousing self past swarms of fucking, sucking, dark-screen-helmeted but otherwise naked examples of human perfection-- oh, in many different ethnic displays of body type, too!-- who tempt him from every angle to give up his purity and instead succumb to their lascivious ways, stroking themselves and each other in his presence while he tries to keep his cool.

Because, y'know, that's how I imagine James Dobson imagines himself.

Comments

[polydad.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm a bit behind the times, but isn't Raul Julia suffering from a slight case of being dead at the moment?

best,

Joel

[blackcoat.livejournal.com]

...you're talking about a genre of ficton that has pairings of multiple fictional characters, some of whom are ENTIRELY DIGITAL, and you're worried about the sad state of the late Mr. Julia's location Re: this mortal coil.


...you're strange. :-)

[blackcoat.livejournal.com]

Normally I'd root for this, but it seems like such a, I dunno, disservice to Mr. Julia to even bring up the fact that he portrayed M. Bison at all. We need to swap him out for someone like, I dunno, Dan Savage, or something.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Maybe so. He'll always be Gomez. But he did his best and, unlike Antonio Banderas in that awful Stallone flick, he knew he was in a Van Damme vehicle and he chewed the scenery for all it was worth.

[polydad.livejournal.com]

>...you're strange. :-)

Also true, but not relevant at the moment. Mostly, I'm unaware of what genre of fiction I'm dealing with and what its customs are. If being dead is not a handicap to participation, I'd be delighted to witness Mr. Julia's participation.

best,

Joel

[blackcoat.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that the only customs of Slash fiction are that a) the main characters be male, b) they hump like little bunnies. Other then that, I've seen pairings from the reasonable and sensible "Duncan MacLeod/Mythos" to the original "Kirk/Spock" to the bizzare "Calvin/Jason Fox" (College age on the last one, for *slightly* less squickage)

[blackcoat.livejournal.com]

Well, that and he probably figured he'd go out with a Bang, not trying to start his American film carrer.

[polydad.livejournal.com]

Little bunnies are lousy humpers. They're great at getting *pregnant*, but bunny sex is only about 15 or 20 seconds.

Mr. Julia was certainly tantalizing while alive, and I assume we're supposed to continue imagining him in that state. It'll do.

best,

Joel

[elfs.livejournal.com]

No, bizarre is Morimoto/Chairman Kaga slash, with cannibalism as the theme. "Kono temo wa Shinichi Ota!" Or Michal Knight/KITT slash. Or Megatron/Starscream.

Damn, now I have to my Sark/Tron piece.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Actually, they don't even have to hump. Or be male.
There is G and PG rated slash, which is often romance without porn.

And Femslash is a genre unto itself.

My oddest pairing so far? Han Solo/Bagoas

[nbarnes.livejournal.com]

Willow/Hermione geek girl slash. *pitter-pat*