James Dobson / Raul Julia slash

[elfs]

I had this sick, sick, sick idea for some slash, where James Dobson (of Focus on the Family) reprises the Jean Claude Van Damme role' from Streetfighter (you can just see him in the blue beanie, can't you?) and takes on General M. Bison (played by Raul Julia doing an Evil Overlord to the hilt!) and has to fight his roundhousing self past swarms of fucking, sucking, dark-screen-helmeted but otherwise naked examples of human perfection-- oh, in many different ethnic displays of body type, too!-- who tempt him from every angle to give up his purity and instead succumb to their lascivious ways, stroking themselves and each other in his presence while he tries to keep his cool.

Because, y'know, that's how I imagine James Dobson imagines himself.