Of what is Pride?

[elfs]

Yesterday, I took my family to watch the gay pride parade, and I have to say that I have very mixed feelings about the whole thing. Part of the reason that I wanted to go was because I want Yamaarashi-chan to feel that her mother's family isn't broken or wrong because her mother happens to date women and is doing so with the express purpose of finding someone with whom to spend to the rest of her life. And if Pride were to be about that-- that gay people are just like straight people, that poly people are just like mono people, the differences are large but not worthy of significance-- then I could feel comfortable going to pride.

But Pride isn't about that. Pride is an awful lot about sex.

I don't know that it's appropriate to introduce my five and eight year old to topics like the rampant syphilis among gay men, especially not with a giant light-sabre weilding penis as its spokesthing.

And as I wandered around the festival and watched a gaggle of middle-school girls dressed in their goth-loli and kinderslut outfits, I had to wonder if, in five years, I'm going to be talking to Yamaarashi-chan about her own taste in clothing. Do they think of it as just "dress up" or are they trying to attract the hormonal and predatory eye of every straight man who walks past? I don't want Yamaarashi-chan or Kouryou-chan to get the idea that I approve of her doing those kinds of things; sex (and sexiness), like wine, is a privilege that comes with maturity.

The Pride committee advertised that this year's parade would be "more family friendly" than in years past. I don't think it quite made it. It still made it seem like there was a lot about being gay that was mostly about sex. And I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that as a life's focus-- at least, not as an option presented to young children.

Comments

[antonia-tiger.livejournal.com]

I don't have any answers, but I like the way you're asking the questions.

The way the kids are growing these days, they'll be getting the physical development earlier than we did. That's the worry.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I'm loving the Pride reports from around the country.

Memphis Pride was very much about families and equality. Then again, the community keeps a low profile in this region.

We had a grand total of 6 drag queens in the parade. Of course the bears and leathermen were out, but they were fully dressed and just carrying their flags like everyone else.

We all have to talk to the girls about their clothing. Fortunately, my Bunny (13) reserves her tramp-look for specific costumes: Terra (Teen titans) and Kita (Space Colony).

The girls you mention aren't interested in anyone over 17, and find it gross that "old guys" would look at them lustfully. But the 17 and under crowd? Oh yeah, they are definitely trying to attract that attention.

[hlmt.livejournal.com]

Interesting comments; thanks for sharing. I find myself doing a lot of editing with Allen's visual input--ironic, since I've always been against censorship. But there are some things he just doesn't need to know about now, and a lot of them are aspects of life I'd rather he consider as "not normal"--violence and swearing seem to be the biggest squick-factors for me. [sez the fairly potty-mouth masochist]

It's fascinating/nerve-wracking to see his sexuality developing--already at 26 months it's present! I just hope that we manage to bring him up in a balanced fashion, although I'm not even sure if that's possible. Sex is not really a "balanced" urge... I'm glad I don't have to deal with girl-clothes, but I'm not looking forward to dealing with testosterone regulation!