elfs: (Default)
[personal profile] elfs
MA: Mature Audiences. Warning, this post contains adult themes and discussions.

Yesterday, I was in an upscale "adult boutique," one of the larger ones in the Seattle area, buying latex-free condoms (why don't they sell those in many drugstores, anyway?) when I happened to glance over at the toys aisle and had a moment of sheer otaku zen. Down at the end of the aisle was one of those couples you only ever see in fanfiction. He was in his early forties, tall, wearing a cowboy hat that would have been embarassing on anyone with a hint of shame left. On him, though, it just made him look Texan. (Did I just repeat myself?) She was Japanese, mid-20s, tiny and fit comfortably in the crook of his elbow. Pretty, too, in a soon-to-fade-flower sort of way.

They were all over each other; she was having just as much of a hard time keeping her hands off him as he was off her, and they were looking through the anal sex toys. From down the aisle I could hear her voice. "No, this one. It's bigger. I think I'd like this one." She held a blister pack with a toy that would probably intimidate a lot of people (not me, though; I have sex toys the size of fire hydrants. But that's me), he nodded and they brought them up to the counter while I paid for my purchase. (You have to love a condom brand named 'Reality'. "Reality may become twisted during intercourse." "Always use a new Reality with every sex act." "Keep Reality out of the reach of children.")

They walked up, still glued together. She wore a nice perfume. I'm old enough, and happily married enough, to keep the psychic jangle of jealously down below a dull rumble, but I had to salute the fellow. It's nice to know *someone* is living the Otaku Dream.

Reality...

Date: 2005-02-25 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
One of my co-workers just thought up, "Reality is not 100% effective" for a condom warning... And I'm in the same boat as you are; I'd be watching them and think, "wow."

Joshua Sasmor

Date: 2005-02-25 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abostick59.livejournal.com
There's a version of Reality for men, now?

Date: 2005-02-25 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfs.livejournal.com
No, it was just the same one, Reality for women.

Date: 2005-02-25 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel39.livejournal.com
I lost the pamphlet that comes in the Reality box that had all the useful cautions in it. :(

Don't forget the one about not tearing Reality.

Date: 2005-02-25 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zonereyrie.livejournal.com
More power to him. :-)

Date: 2005-02-26 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfs.livejournal.com
A friend of mine pointed that he's probably living it precisely because he's probably not otaku.

otaku question

Date: 2005-02-25 11:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xlana.livejournal.com
I admit this is slightly off-topic, but I'm curious about a phrase in one of my shojo titles, and figured you might know. In "Fruit Baskets", one of Tohru-san's friends is called a Yankee Girl. What does that mean?

Re: otaku question

Date: 2005-02-26 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfs.livejournal.com
It means she wants to act like an American girl circa 1980's, complete with faux-Harley tank top, denim and boots. It was a popular Japanese subculture. These days it's been replaced by hip-hop style, and anyone affecting "yankeegirl" is really behind the times. Cultural evolution is bloody harsh.

Re: otaku question

Date: 2005-02-26 06:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xlana.livejournal.com
Domo arigato, sempai. (-:

I gathered from the books (which I mistakenly called "Fruit Baskets" in my above post; it's "Fruits Basket") that a Yankee Girl was just another name for a member of a gang of female juveniles, angry at the world, talking back to elders, partaking of senseless violence, etc.

Date: 2005-02-25 11:42 pm (UTC)
lovingboth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lovingboth
I thought they'd renamed Femidoms in the US to something boring like 'Female Condom'.

Date: 2005-02-26 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfs.livejournal.com
They have, sadly.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2005-02-26 06:57 pm (UTC)
kengr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kengr
The fortune cookies are stored in a text file on the server you are getting the fortune from. There is no "central" repository. At best, there's a default file included in the various distributions.
(deleted comment)

Re: Fortune

Date: 2005-03-01 02:06 am (UTC)
kengr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kengr
This is unix. There are bound to be *lots* of versions rather than one "canonical" collection.

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Elf Sternberg

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