Bobotie

[elfs]

So, this evening, I promised Yamaarashi-chan that we would do something interesting together: we would eat an authentic South African recipe, since that's what she's studying. Tomorrow, we're going to have to do a lot more homework. I have already scheduled us to be at the library tomorrow.

Tonight, though, we put together something called bobotie,

Yamaarashi-chan cooks dinner for the family.

which is basically leftovers cooked into a pie held together with eggs rather than potatoes as one would think for Shepherd's Pie. Other than chopping the onions and handling the oven, I let her do all the work: browning the onions, mixing the meat in, letting it brown too. The recipe we had was "authentic," and that means that we didn't drain the meat afterwards: bad mistake. It was too greasy for an American diet. Next time we'll know better.

She stirred in the currants and a medly of chopped dried blueberries, blackberries, and cherries-- I'm not a fruit-at-dinner person, but those worked-- and then some bread soaked in milk, and then topped it with an egg-and-milk scramble. I put it in the oven for her, and then we made rice together. That was undramatic, since the rice-cooker takes care of everything except measuring the amount of rice you need.

We ate it. It was good, but it would have been better without all the grease. The girls liked it, but not enough to ask for it again. Still, it means that when Yamaarashi-chan gets to make her presentation on "her" country for her class, she can say that she made and ate something they (supposedly) eat there.

Afterwards, I let them play a bit. They played Hullabaloo while Omaha and I relaxed with a game or two of backgammon, and then I put the kids to bed. Those kids grow like weeds. I'm about ready to put away the stepping stool in the bathroom and Kouryou-chan's booster seat has lain in a corner, unloved, since I can't remember when. While they were brushing their teeth I saw that Yamaarashi-chan's nightgown, which used to cover her down below her knees, now barely fits her. I cleaned up the kitchen and went out to the pharmacy to grab Omaha some guafenesin for her nighttime dosing. And then I put her to bed.

Comments

[shadowfey.livejournal.com]

If you have an interest in other South African recipes, let me know. I'm married to a South African, and the wedding gift from his parents to me was a South African cookbook called 'Cook and Enjoy It' by a very respected South African cook.

I've made a number of the recipes, including a South African sausage called boerwors (literally, 'farmer's sausage') which was fairly immense. Some of them are very strange to American tastes, but some of them are absolutely delicious.

[blackcoat.livejournal.com]

I'm not a fruit-at-dinner person, but those worked

I have, somewhere, a recipe for an apricot soup and bread that are both very good. The soup isn't sweet at all, and the bread is wonderful.

[phred1973.livejournal.com]

My goodness you have precoscious children, Elf!

I hope that my daughter is as cool at that age.. ("Can she recognize any letter shapes?" "...turn off all cell phones...")

[elfs.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's just precosiousness at work. There's also something else going on: high expectations. One of the things that I find irritating is the "let kids be kids and let them play" sort of attitude that some people have about their children. Omaha and I have never "superkidded" either child; we've never sat down and grilled them with flash cards or forced them to do anything. We just gave them access to a lot of books and gave them a lot of hints, read aloud to them every day unless they were too sick to read (rare), played games with them that helped them master basic ideas, board games like Sequence and Battleship, which promote reasoning, and Life or Monopoly Junior, which require basic math. We talked to them constantly about why we eat what we eat, or why we take care of our hair, our skin, our clothes, and so on.

Have high expectations. Be good examples. That's all it really takes.

Observations of Parental Expectations

[(Anonymous)]

Warning Long Post because of the examples

I'm not a parent, but I've been around a lot of kids. I agree with Elf, also, kids need to experience the consequences of their actions.

My old boss/friend, love her to death, wish she could be my mom, however, she has no expectations of her kids. She just wants them to "enjoy being kids". Her daughter, 18, first year in college, has a checkbook and you know the old joke, "I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks." That's her. For a $25 check, she received $150 in fees, I don't know if they were all bounced check fees, overdrawn fees or what, but upon hearing what happened, Mom gave her money to cover the original check and the fees and explained, once again, how a checkbook works. Two weeks later without making another deposit, she did it again, because she "wanted it." She thought she had more money to write more checks. I asked how is that possible when the math doesn't work out. Mom said that she "forgot", must be how they do the national budget. Mom always came to her rescue when she needed money, even to the point of wiring money overnight because Daughter forgot to tell her she needed money for going to camp(?) until the night before it was due.

During her spring semester of community college, when she stopped going to all her classes, she could still have received a partial refund on her tuition. She did not tell her mom about it until after the no refund date. She and her mom actually shared two classes together and she still did this. She joined the Air Force and went to boot camp. Mom thinks its the best decision Daughter made, gaining more maturity as a result, but she still bounces checks and asks for money. Guess she forgot her math, again.

Her youngest son, 8 years old, is just as spoiled. Mom has to scream, multiple times, at the top of her lungs to get him and his best friend (She took care of the the best friend for over year while his mom was away and each son looks upon the best friends mother as a second Mom) to listen to her. Both boys call me mean old Kathleen because I expect them to behave in a slightly less than barbaric manner. (Its pretty sad when Mom uses me as a threat to get the kids to behave.) As long as neither boy is crying or drawing blood, she doesn't care what they do. At the restaurant we used to work at, the boys showed no respect for anything. They would run and play sword fight atop of a 5 foot high bar because they could, topple over boxes, make messes without any expectation of cleaning up after themselves (I quickly disabused them of that notion), and expect not to help out at all with anything. I'm not suggesting slave labor but moving a couple of chairs or something. They would be gone in a blink of an eye after such a request.

She has even said she wants them to stay kids as long as possible before being grown up. And no I don't think she's an all bad parent. Her kids are very happy, sweet and nice, they also know she loves them to death, part of the reason I wish her to be my mom. While I do agree that children are dragged out of childhood way to soon, no preparation for adulthood can also lead to a very ill equipped adult who might be unhappy at their inability to deal with life.

My current boss/friend and wife have expectations of their kids, 13 and 9. They don't need to be entertained. They will also clean up after themselves and help out at work when he brings them in on school vacations. Well, one girl more than the other, but they don't cause more work when he brings them in. They have helped out at work even as young as 8 and 4. They will help when asked and don't need to be screamed at 3 or 4 times to do something. Could they be more happy? Sometimes, but I also think they will be more prepared for responsibilities as an adult and consequently be happier than being dependent on their parents or surprised by the consequences of their actions when someone doesn't come in to their rescue.

Just some observations from someone who loves kids
Kathleen