Hornets

[elfs]

The hornets have been bad this year. One of the disadvantages of living in a low development region is that the environment is great for carnivorous flying insects: there's plenty of roadkill and tons of trashcans, not to mention all of the bugs lefts dead and dying the constant work of lawnmowers. There's a hive under the eaves of the garage, and now there's one in the kid's treehouse. The treehouse was build by the previous owner and is pretty solid, but she built it with two-by-fours and then covered with plywood. There are also some inside parts that are covered with plywood but exposed top and bottom-- this provides the hornets with the ideal hiding place. I have no idea how to get them out of there. And the kids really love that treehouse.

So I get out the can and read the instructions. The first one says, "Use this around dusk, when the hornets are at their quietest." Now, I have to wonder about the competence of manfacturers that can't speak English. I suddenly fear that I might not be in good hands here. Next to this is a little icon, white on the red background of the can, showing the sun going down.

"Point the nozzle at the hive and depress the trigger. Hold the trigger down until the you have emptied the canister." This is a nice way of saying, "Use it all up in one shot so you'll need to run out and buy more to get the next hive." This icon shows the classic bulky stick figure leaning back and pointing the can, shooting the upper-left-hand corner of the icon box.

But I bravely walk out to the garage around dusk, put on my safety goggles just in case, and point the can up under the eave. Usually, this place is buzzing with one or two hornets, but right now there are none. I press the trigger.

The white stream is coming out of the can and flying through the air, scoring the nest and most of the underside of the garage, covering it in a white sticky foam utterly unlike anything your gutter minds might concoct, but there's a lake of it pooling at the cusp of the garage and the driveways, right next to a big grate with a painted stencil that reads "Drains To Freshwater River" and a picture of a fish. Great, I think, great. I'm destroying the planet. But hornets aren't about to link arms and antenna and sing Kum-ba-ya, right? So what am I supposed to do?

Holy carp, this is taking a long time. The stream keeps coming and coming and I'm probably pissing off a great raft of hornets, a huge attack cadre of hornets, the biggest damn flotilla of hornets ever to get mad at one little Elf.

Finally, the stream runs dry. There's only a hissing sound coming out of the can. I remember clearly the last instruction on the can. The icon is most informative. It shows a figure running to the right with an arrow pointed at his back. I follow it to the letter: RUN AWAY! You have to love a product that has, as its last instruction, "Run away." Well, okay, it says, "Leave the area immediately." What it really means is "You've pissed off a lot of hornets, dummy. Do the right thing!"

Unfortunately, the hive survived my attempted homicide quite handily, and now I have to find some way of getting rid of them. Some other way. And the one in the treehouse, I have no idea how I'm going to get them out of there.

Comments

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

Hornets will die at the first hard freeze, except for the queen who goes into hibernation somewhere. Do you *get* hard freezes, or even frosts, in your part of the country?

[fallenpegasus]

No.

We get maybe one snowfall every other year, only an inch or so, and it melts off within the day.

Flowers and vines grow year `round in Seattle, even in December and January.

We don't get "hard freezes" until you go a ways inland.

Me too

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

You can always spot the newcomers. It's true that for the past 10-12 years we haven't gotten the good freezes, but that doesn't mean we never get them around here. All I gotta say is the big freeze will be coming back soon and *then* y'all will know what winter in the Sound is! ;)

Re: Me too

[omahas.livejournal.com]

The question "Do you *get* hard freezes, or even frosts, in your part of the country?" had the assumed every year in it, since waiting for a few years to let the freeze take care of the hornet's nests is not an option ('specially not for Elf!).

And "winter" in the Sound is the amount of snow that will shut Seattle down, but would cause Bostontonions to shake their heads and go one with their days. Yes, I've lived through several "blizzards" in the Puget Sound area. Quite the joke, really...to those used to much more in, say, Wyoming, or North Dakota.

'Course, my experience with snow before moving up to Seattle in 1990 was 5 snowflakes on the car windshield in 1975. I know. I counted them.

But that was in Florida. :)

Re: Me too

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

Oh I agree, you folks can't wait for a freeze. It just amuses me that so many people think that what we've been having the last 10-12 years is "normal" for this region. And yes, Seattlites these days don't know what *real* snow is.

Re: Me too

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

Last night we had a light frost, tonight it's supposed to be mid-20s, which is a trifle early for the Twin Cities. I'd gladly send it out your way if I could figure out how--it would be much more useful out there than here. My raspberries are still trying to fruit out.

As for snow, we moved here Xmas '95, and haven't had nearly that much snow since. It's very disappointing when the piles of snow in the parking lot corners are all melted and gone by mid-April instead of the end of June. I like snow. Unlike rain, you can pick it up and/or move it out of the way.

I don't remember what Dad did to deal with the hornet's nest that we had one year, but I'm fairly sure it involved some nasty chemicals. Dad is like that.

how to get rid of hornets part 1 by WarStoke

[(Anonymous)]

ok now this is how we get rid of hornets down here in the south east
i take a small pail putt about half way full of gas and add styrofoam peanuts to it untill none will disolve any more then dump the concaution in a garden trash bags and tape the bag over the nest then while the nest is in the bag break if off from the house as clean as posible

as for the one in the tree house put plastic bags over the windows and cover up as many cracks as you can with duct tape and place a bunch of cotton balls in a metal pail and burn it in the tree house the fumes from the cotton will kill most but after a week of being seal up afterwords the nest will be dead any way cause the smoke contaminates there stored food they wont eat it

thats how we do it down here as i was taught by my step father when i had that problem with our tool shed

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

The first step in killing any bee, hornet, wasp, what-have-you nest is to make sure you've sealed off any possible escape route. And trust me, those little buggers can find a way out! Then you use the foaming products. They are to make the final seal and their primary functionality is to starve the nest. After you think you've got 'em all dead, take the nest down (find protective clothing first) and burn it.

But didn't Omahas say you had a subscription to Terminex? Won't they take care of bees?

[omahas.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, you know, I keep thinking that the subscription with them is just for ants, but maybe it's for more than that. I should take a look at what the subscription actually covers just to make sure.

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

Are these wasps or hornets? Hornets have the big nests shaped like footballs. Wasps are usually mud daubers or paper wasps. I believe the insecticide requirements of real hornets are a tad different from the rest.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

If your hornets are the meat-eating sort, this works, and is relatively risk-free if you're careful:

Take a can of cheap catfood. Remove the lid. Stir in a heaping spoon full of rose dust (an insecticide containing rotenone, available at gardening stores). Take one of those net bags that onions and such come in, place the can of catfood inside and hang it from the tree, near the nest, in such a way that cats (for instance) can't get to it.

The hornets will feast on the poisoned catfood, take it back to the nest and they'll all be dead within a week or so.

Be sure to dispose of the leftover catfood carefully (plastic bag it and put it in the garbage).

Rotenone is a natural insecticide derived from tropical and sub-tropical plants. It is, however, toxic to people and aquatic life, so handle it carefully, keep the children away and don't dump it down your drains.

This works equally well on carnivorous hornets, wasps and yellowjackets.