Microsoft Windows DEAD¡™
Mar. 27th, 2011 09:36 pmI cannot imagine a more user-hostile experience than the one I just had using Microsoft Windows LIVE!™. So, although it was offered on Steam for $19.99, I bought Bioshock II for $19.95 at Fry's, expecting it would be the same experience.
I am never, ever, ever again buying anything "Made for Windows Live." Never.
First, I installed the game, only to be told "You must have a profile with Windows Live!™ to save your games. Do you want to create a profile?" No, you dumbass, I don't want to be able to save my games. Fuck you. I hit "Yes" and went through the process of giving it miscellaneous intimate information.
The game crashed. I tried again, and it crashed again. Apparently, it needed to terminate the Bioshock process, but being a child process of the game, when the game ended, so did it.
I ran Microsoft Windows LIVE!™ as a standalone process. It crashed. I looked; there was a hotfix. I downloaded it, and ran it, and while it was running I pulled up Firefox to write this.
Firefox crashed, I thought. No, it wasn't Firefox crashing, it was Windows rebooting without so much as a "bye your leave." It was just going down.
After it rebooted, I ran Bioshock again. And again there was an update. This time, it ran fine, but it had to "restart the game process." After that, it had to "download your profile," which apparently is a three-minute delay I'll have to suffer through every time I boot the game. And it's a Microsoft-branded overlay, in that blued chrome style that, while actually quite nice on its own, is a complete and utter clash with the beautiful art deco art style of Bioshock, a brand-identity reminder that Steve Ballmer owns your ass, which I find ironic given the ownership society mentality at the heart of Rapture.
Grief.
Oh, and it gets better. As many of you know, I'm a Dvorak typist. I remapped the keys so that I could play the game without having to set the keyboard back to QWERTY. It seemed to work fine.
In the middle of the first boss combat scene against Big Sister, the keyboard suddenly went back to QWERTY. My keymappings were hosed. I died.
No reason given. None at all. When I tried to get out of the game, it crashed.
Fuck you, Microsoft. Fuck you hard. May you lose half a billion dollars per quarter on your so-called "Internet Strategies" now and forever for burdening the world with this fecal bacterial colony you call Windows, until there's no money left at all.
If I have a choice between Steam and LIVE!™, I'm going for Steam. They, at least, have a vested interest in writing and providing authentication plug-ins that work.
I am never, ever, ever again buying anything "Made for Windows Live." Never.
First, I installed the game, only to be told "You must have a profile with Windows Live!™ to save your games. Do you want to create a profile?" No, you dumbass, I don't want to be able to save my games. Fuck you. I hit "Yes" and went through the process of giving it miscellaneous intimate information.
The game crashed. I tried again, and it crashed again. Apparently, it needed to terminate the Bioshock process, but being a child process of the game, when the game ended, so did it.
I ran Microsoft Windows LIVE!™ as a standalone process. It crashed. I looked; there was a hotfix. I downloaded it, and ran it, and while it was running I pulled up Firefox to write this.
Firefox crashed, I thought. No, it wasn't Firefox crashing, it was Windows rebooting without so much as a "bye your leave." It was just going down.
After it rebooted, I ran Bioshock again. And again there was an update. This time, it ran fine, but it had to "restart the game process." After that, it had to "download your profile," which apparently is a three-minute delay I'll have to suffer through every time I boot the game. And it's a Microsoft-branded overlay, in that blued chrome style that, while actually quite nice on its own, is a complete and utter clash with the beautiful art deco art style of Bioshock, a brand-identity reminder that Steve Ballmer owns your ass, which I find ironic given the ownership society mentality at the heart of Rapture.
Grief.
Oh, and it gets better. As many of you know, I'm a Dvorak typist. I remapped the keys so that I could play the game without having to set the keyboard back to QWERTY. It seemed to work fine.
In the middle of the first boss combat scene against Big Sister, the keyboard suddenly went back to QWERTY. My keymappings were hosed. I died.
No reason given. None at all. When I tried to get out of the game, it crashed.
Fuck you, Microsoft. Fuck you hard. May you lose half a billion dollars per quarter on your so-called "Internet Strategies" now and forever for burdening the world with this fecal bacterial colony you call Windows, until there's no money left at all.
If I have a choice between Steam and LIVE!™, I'm going for Steam. They, at least, have a vested interest in writing and providing authentication plug-ins that work.
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