*Sigh* The Onion. Sweet, sweet Onion.

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job

WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

It's Yak Shaving Day!

I took today off on the assumption that I would be a lot more hung over than I am. Omaha got to party; I got to have all of one beer before putting the kids to bed on time became my responsibility.

Given my sober and unscheduled life, I decided this morning that I could get a lot of work done. I set my meditation timer to 90 minutes and...

I now have one very cold yak.

Sigh.

The Wingnuttery Continues

And the wingnuts are out in force. The Christian Worldview Network allows Cythia Dunbar to opine that since Barack Obama is not an American citizen, then nobody should feel any shame that he is occupying the White House. We've simply been conned. But now that he's in office, we have to be afraid that, should an attack happen to America on his watch, he'll take advantage of this and impose eternal martial law on the rest of us. She ends by saying, "I told you so."

And George Newman tells us that the market probably tanked 486 points today because they know how bad Barack Obama's going to be for this economy, what with his reparations for slavery, the virtual nationalization of oil and gas industries, fascistic oversight of pharmaceutical industries, and the implementation of a value added national sales tax on top of income taxes, etc. etc. The Wall Street Journal gave Newman space on its op-ed page, noting that he's a retired business executive. Huh. With that kind of drag on the economy, you'd think we'd be down around Dow 1000, not 8000.