elfs | Apr. 8th, 2003

This "vacation" thing isn't working out too well. I mean, it's not bad, but my sleep schedule is all out of whack and I'm not getting much done. I had hoped by now to have written at least a few thousand words, done a few sketches, continued my studies in Japanese-- all the things I manage to do on the bus ride to and from work and during lunch. Those two hours a day are, more or less, mine. Instead, I find myself distracted by the constant attention young children need, the nuisance attractions of good Internet access and cable television, and the lack of any structure in my daily life.

I managed to re-arrange my story collection so that things make sense to my current way of writing, in series. And I've been spending a lot of time with Yamaarashi-chan, which is nice. I do worry about her, though; she has no sense of "fix it." Kouryou-chan has learned two very important lessons-- when something blocks your progress, try to fix it. If you can't, call a grownup and see if they can help. Yamaarashi-chan, in contrast, goes into operatic protest the moment even the slightest obstactle stands in her way. She was playing a computer game this afternoon and accidentally got it into help mode. Instead of coming to ask me for help, she curled up in a corner and sobbed uncontrollably. If I hadn't come down to see what she was doing, she would probably still be crying now.

I will not, I cannot, countenance a life where drama is more satisfying than accomplishment. Yet that seems to be what Yamaarashi-chan is doing. She knows how to fix things and how to ask for help, but instead she wallows in her stubborn, self-pitying "I don't know how to do this" behavior. Omaha and I have mananged to get her to ask for help eventually, but it's hard. She has had a lifetime of overwhelming examples and she's not old enough to know they're dysfunctional examples.

The ants have arrived. The weak spot in the house appears to be the kitchen window-- at least twice this week we've found them coming in through seams under the window. It's those damned aluminum frames that expand and contact constantly over the winter. We've vacuumed them up and then sealed them-- damn, but Omaha lays a clean line of caulk. I'm going to go by a hot tub store and get some crushed diatom sand-- supposedly, the sharp edges of the diatoms is very harsh on the ants' antennae and legs.

But now it's time for daily sweeps of the house. And when we go out on vacation later this month, we'll have to find someone to come in and do the surveying for us. We'll also have to spray every egress in the place, and I know we'll come back on Monday to find a trail, probably coming through the bricks in the fireplace we never use.