Flirting... Bleah

[elfs]

So anyways, after J and I went to this men's party thingy thing Friday, I make this comment about how I thought someone was flirting with me and he says, "Nobody who knows you flirts with you anymore. You never notice."

Later that weekend, omahas and I went out to dinner with J and D, and the conversation came back to the same subject after J joked about it. D got a slight half-frown, half-smile (how does she do that?) when she said, "I've been flirting with him forever and no, he's never noticed." Then, looking at me, she said, "Sometimes I think I need one of those big Nerf bats just to get your attention."

"Really?" I said. "I never noticed."

Then Omaha elbows me in the ribs and says, "See? By the way, that was a flirt."

"It was?" I remained clueless.

Omaha looked up at J. "Do you still have that Nerf bat in the car?"

Sadly, we were later to learn, Nerf doesn't make Nerf bats anymore.

So here I am a day later, making dinner and wondering about that conversation. I'm making pasta and sauce.

1 large Mayan onion
4 cloves garlic
2 cans diced no-salt-added tomatoes
Tomato paste
Red wine
Basil, "Italian Seasoning," pepper.

Chop the onion and mince the garlic. For mincing, a hand-blender with a chopping attachment is excruciatingly useful, but I still do it by hand occasionally because I like the feel of inconsistency in my food. Saute onion and garlic in some fat (olive oil, butter-- I use bacon fat unless I'm making it for vegetarians-- about two tablespoons). While the saute' is going, put one can of tomatoes into a large bowl and mash with a potato masher. Add the other can, at least one tablespoon of tomato paste but more if you want it thicker, 1/2 to 2/3 cup red wine, 1 tbs basil (a little more if its fresh), 1/2 tbs seasoning, and maybe 1/2 tsp pepper-- to taste. When the saute' is done, about ten minutes, add in the tomato-wine mix. Bring to a boil, drop to a simmer and leave for 20 minutes. Freezes well.

I just happened to use a Mayan last night because it's all I had available on short notice. But you can use just about any decent large onion in the mix.

It was a lovely dinner, but I still wonder about that conversation. I wonder what it means that something apparently so fundamental to the way human beings interact is completely and utterly foreign to me. I don't know that I'm actually missing anything by not being able to read and respond to flirts, but still... sigh.

Oh! And the wine I had with tonight's dinner is... interesting. I was a big fan of syrah's long before the current craze, but it's nice to see importers bringing more and better vintages over. I got a 1.5 liter bottle of syrah from a vintner called "Yellow Tail Wines, Australia." It's a bit different from the Alice White syrah I last had. Very drinkable, but not nearly as heady. Fruity without being overwhelming like dessert wines. I kinda miss the way the Alice White curls about the sinuses as if it were investigating your brain, but the Yellow Tail is still quite good. Kudos to the lovely young ladies who suggested it to me.

Sadly, I can only allow myself a half-glass tonight. I've got my hands full with Kouryou-chan all by myself, and since I'm the only adult about I must be able to drive in an emergency. After dinner, I'm surely up for another challenging round of Candyland.

Mrrrrrppphhh! The impulses are almost overwhelming! Must! Not! Write! Candyland! Slash!

Comments

On flirting

[jenkitty.livejournal.com]

Apparently, the usual subtle repartee that generally constitutes flirting is too subtle for you. Would you perhaps respond more appropriately to said flirter simply climbing in your lap and making a playful nusiance of him/herself?

This can be arranged, you know...

(And yes, I'm flirting with you, too! *wields clue-by-four*)

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

*tongue in cheek* Poor, poor Elf. However will you survive the dire fate of having people climb in your lap? */tongue in cheek*

On a slightly more serious note, it sounds like "geek flirting" is the best way for people to get your attention. (Geek flirting being the direct, "hey, you're cute/interesting/sexy/humanoid/alive, want to get together sometime?" approach.) Somehow this does not surprise me. ;-)

BTW, if you like white wines at all, you should try one called Conundrum--it's a wonderful California white table wine; subtle, complex, fruity and spicy, neither too dry nor too sweet. It generally runs around $20/bottle. (Note: I usually don't like whites; for this one I make an exception.)

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Blushes. Oh, I don't think that's true. Sounds like Omaha's claim that "people are just throwing money at you to dead-tree the Journal Entries or Aimee, if only you'd get over this fear of publishing!" If that were true, I wouldn't be fifty bucks short of my next web server payment. (And no, it's not due 'till June or so, so I'm okay for now... It's not like the Pendorwright site's about to disappear or anything.)

People simply aren't climbing into my lap, and thank Goddess for that. I have a life and a family now and they always come first, so the idea of having any more people in my already overflowing life is a bit daunting. Like the article said, "You're a lovely person. I like you. Now please shush."

But yes, geek flirting is always appreciated. According to Omaha, sometimes I don't even notice that for what it is. A friend of mine relates how, at a local pub once he had a girl mention FIVE times that her place was "just a few blocks from here" and he completely missed it. His mates didn't. I'm not surprised. I would have missed it too.

I wonder if I'm just poorly socialized.

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

Perhaps, in a way, this is true. Some people start flirting from the cradle - I'm told I was flirting before I could speak, and I know the brother most like me was, as well. Other people pick it up during school, after members of the appropriate sex suddenly become interesting in 'that way'. They pick it up, however, by watching other people around them flirting and then trying it out themselves.

*nods* I think that's very much true. My parents tell stories about how they caught me flirting with someone when I was all of 10 days old, so I know the inclination is natural for me, although many of my methods of flirtation are learned behaviors. I think it's likely that, just as some people seem to have natural math or athletic abilities, which makes learning those skills seem effortless and fun to the point of joy, some people have natural flirtation abilities. This doesn't mean that other people can't learn and enjoy and become quite skillful, it just means that they have to consciously apply thought and time and energy to the learning. Someone who is a "natural" has to do the same thing in order to become really good at it, but if they don't want to be bothered they can usually get by pretty easily on their natural ability.

Elf, it's also possible that going to a boys' school did help you learn to flirt .... with other boys. Boys flirt very differently than girls do--I've found that I don't always notice if a girl is flirting with me, either. It's that whole "lesbian sheep" thing, I suspect--a friend of mine took a college course where the professor ended up talking about how it's easy to tell that there are homosexual rams, because they exhibit specific mating behaviors toward each other. He was asked about lesbian sheep, and he said that it's impossible to tell if there are lesbian sheep, because the typical mating behavior for a female sheep to indicate readiness and interest ... is to stand around doing nothing. There does seem to be a bit of a corollary to the behavior of some bi women that I've observed.

on flirting

[j5nn5r.livejournal.com]

Elfs notices:
"So anyways, after J and I went to this men's party thingy thing Friday, I make this comment about how I thought someone was flirting with me and he says, "Nobody who knows you flirts with you anymore. You never notice.""

I did not say that, friend. I lamented *with* you that you don't notice, much like I fail to acknowledge and notice when someone pays me a compliment. People still flirt with you, friend. They have not given up. You are worth it.