As a public service...

[elfs]

An acquaintance of mine reminded me of CAPAlert, a website that rates films from a purely (ahem) Christian perspective. Lots of people use CAPAlert to find the movies they wish to see.

As a public service, I have hacked out a chunk of Perl code that analyzes the CAPAlert summary page and prints out the twenty most "Offensive To God" films ever rated by these people. They are:

10.65 South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
9.59 8 Mile
9 All About the Benjamins
8.74 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
8.61 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
7.46 Natural Born Killers
7.21 Rules of Attraction
7.09 American History X
7.00 Summer of Sam
6.81 The Blair Witch Project
6.71 Trainspotting
6.33 Flawless
6.19 SLC Punk
5.49 Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
5.47 Training Day
5.33 Scary Movie
5.26 Detroit Rock City
5 Dogma
4.89 Gun Shy
4.84 Analyze This


Enjoy!

Comments

Those Christians, they're wacky

[nbarnes.livejournal.com]

I'll never understand how 8 Mile did got a 9.56 and Dogma only got a 5.

Re: Those Christians, they're boring...

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Remember, they are "not a review service." Their only point is to count up the number of "offenses to God" and multiply them against a secretive formula for how bad they are, revealing some magical number, the higher the worse the movie. Apparently, "fuck" is worse than "goddamn," which is worse than "damn," which is worse than "god", if one is to puzzle out their methodology. Also, "mention of evolution" is automatically an offense. (Both Lilo & Stitch and Jurassic Park got heavy marks for that one.)

Actually, the JP review reminds me of a comment there: apparently, the reviewer objected to a scene where Grant saves Lex's life by boosting her over a wall. His objection? To do that, actor Sam Neil to actually touch actress Arianna Richard's clothed butt, and "no man should touch an underage child that way." Y'know, that never occurred to me while I was watching the film, but then I'm not the one with the automatically pornographic imagination. What should he have done? Grabbed her wrist, spun around in a circle three times and tossed her over the wall like some Olympic ball-and-chain toss?

That man needs a tinfoil hat.

Re: Those Christians, they're boring...

[(Anonymous)]

Among the other things they take offense to are vampiric cows, Tantrum by an adult, the phrase "dogs are people too." and my personal favorite "punk dress" because everyone knows if you dress like a punk, you cannot worship God(tm)

-Fluffy