An Insight Into the Male Mind.

[elfs]

So, I bought new boxer shorts. This, in itself, sounds rather mundane and boring, and doesn't tell you what I wear out on a date under my clothes since I own all manner of underthings. But, it did provide me with an amusing insight.

You see, most male underwear has an opening in the front for convenient access and deployment of the penis when one has to urinate. It's usually "convenient." Except that these new boxer shorts have an opening convenient only to left-handed men, and the opening is off to the right a few centimeters from the usual placement in the centerline. So, today, after arriving at work, I walked to the rest room and stood in front of the urinal.

And I couldn't find the opening in my boxers. Now, this would seem to be merely an annoyance. "I know it's in there something," I said to myself, "But dammit, I just can't find my penis." At this point, my mind bifurcated. The first thread went off on its merry way of being annoyed at the delay of this vital bodily function. But the other thread zoomed around inside my skull until it had my attention and it screamed, What do you mean, you can't find your penis!?

Fortunately, I did indeed soon find it thereafter, right where it was supposed to be, and relieved myself in all manner of ways. But it was, um, interesting to realize just how deeply cautious the male mind is of its member.

Comments

Hate to be a fast-posting pill...

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

...but while this entry was somehow hilarious to me at 2AM here, having gone through similair... perhaps this would be a wonderful place to use a <LJ-CUT> tag in the future? :-)

Also, added you to my rather eclectically growing friends list, since I seem to be poking my nose into your journal rather frequently now that you're part of The Collective here.

Heh

[kyriani.livejournal.com]

I love boxers. ^_^ I often find myself wishing I had a penis just so that I could use them in the manner they were meant to be used. ^_^

Has nothing to do with the post, but...

[(Anonymous)]

Hello there.

Years ago, when the internet was still a relatively new thing, I stumbled across halcyon.com/elf and became entranced with the stories I found there. Then various things came up and that site slowly faded from my memory. Imagine to my surprise when I typed in "elfs" as a random LJ user and found your site.

I never really got around to sending you feedback on how much I enjoyed your stories, but I guess I can take the time now.

You write very beautifully, and I hope you continue your trade :-)

~Dave

Re: Has nothing to do with the post, but...

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you. I have no intention of giving it up, and the Journals will probably be around forever. They'll be available on my website
as long as I can keep it running, and maybe in a few decades I can set up a little trust to make sure they are long after I disappear off this Earth...

*muffled laughter*

[lconover.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's just the late hour (way past midnight for us here on the East Coast) but for some reason, this post completely cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh after a bad day.

-L

Elf, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to have to add you to my 'friend' list here on LJ, if only to keep up with the news about your new stories. :)

[ixx.livejournal.com]

That reminds me; a few years ago I was doing a survey of all my male friends to try and determine if anyone actually uses the flap. You're the first who volunteered a 'yes' on that.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Well, I only use it on the boxers. It doesn't make sense on the jockeys. By the way, I love the StarCraft website. That's cool.