Men are the new Gays

[elfs]

Is it really that bad for men out there? If the critics reviewing the fall TV line-up out there are right, it apparently is. I've read five different reviews about the new season of television, and so far every one of them has the same reaction: The new line-up is full of shows about how men are idiots.

There are seven TV shows in the line-up that have male leads, and 14 that have female leads. Tim Allen plays a manly-man trying to survive in a world of pomegranate-scented bodywash. Another depicts a man as "gifted" because the ghost of his ex-wife guides him through his apparent testosterone-poisoned failings. Yet a third puts two men into the same apartment, one a prissy Niles Fraiser clone and the other a mancave-reeking meathead, with the theme that, to get the girl, they both have to learn from each other-- except that our Neanderthal is depicted in the opening as "a real man." Real men read sports scores. Real men work out not for their health, but because "adult men" apparently look like Conan the Barbarian.

Look, I'm a firm believer in manly virtues that overlap with, but are distinct from, basic human virtues. I do not believe that the two poles of human sexuality are absolutely congruent. Being a great husband and a great father are distinctly different behaviors from being a great wife and a great mother. I believe in manliness.

But most of the "men" depicted on sitcoms these these days lack the manly virtues. His resoluteness is the single-mindedness of the bull. To the extend that he has a sense of honor, it is an entitled, indignant sort, unwilling to compromise or understand an alternative. His industry is pointless: if he has a job he hates, he's a loser for staying; if he has a job he loves, he's a loser for not being rich enough to leave it behind. His courage is a farce. Self-reliance must be ineffective and shown up.

Linda Holmes, the NPR reviewer, says it exactly right:

Where, on television, are the men who both like football and remember birthdays? Where are the men who can have a highly insightful drink-and-talk with friends? Where are the men who are great dads, great husbands, great boyfriends? Where are the men who are dedicated to important jobs? Where are the men who aren't seeking reassurance about what it means to be men? Where are all the men I rely on in my day-to-day life?

Admiral Adama was probably the last real man I saw on television.

"Steel True, Blade Straight." That's the inscription on Arthur Conan Doyle's headstone. It seems as fitting a motto as any. None of the men I've seen on TV recently could begin to understand it.

Comments

[urox.livejournal.com]

I had a friend once point out that sitcoms weren't really funny. I mostly agreed with him. Still, I like How I Met Your Mother because I can appreciate being a goofball and slightly neurotic at times.

Castle has a real-ish man. The show's even named after him. He's a good father.

What about multi-cast programs like Grey's Anatomy or Glee?
I stopped watching Hawaii 5-0 but that had 2 strong male leads, one of them a father. This show I would actually say is dead on for what the NPR reviewer is looking for.
Bones theoretically has the female lead, but Booth is pretty important as well as her partner.

If we go to pay cable shows, Dexter's a father. ;) So is Borgias.

I'm late to a couple shows, but Lie To Me was enjoyable with a male father lead.
We also watched The Riches which had a male father who I would strongly consider was in charge of his masculinity but the show mostly was about the family.

[nbarnes.livejournal.com]

Well, Nathan Fillon specializes in masculinity.

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

The best sitcom father I've seen recently is Robbie Ray from Hannah Montana (God help me). Completely supportive and loving to his daughter (he basically dumped his singing career to support hers!), but willing to lay down the law when she oversteps the boundries he's set up. Though admittedly undercut a bit by his relentless tormenting of his son, who admittedly earns it more often than not.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

I do not understand why so many of these (I assume male) scriptwriters are so hell-bent on writing appalling male characters. I don't know who they want to watch their shows, but I can tell you, *I* don't.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

The two dads we see on The Secret Circle are Evil and A Drunk. The latter climbed into the bottle when his wife died during a casting gone bad. Gale Harold (from Queer as Folk) plays Evil Dad Charlie, who kills people.

The men on True Blood are presented as anachronisms. Erik has a sense of personal honor, but it's incompatible with the world 1000 years after his birth. Bill is deeply broken and hiding it under a lot of manners. Jason is a dumbass slut and Hoyt is a moralistic prig. Sam is a bad man trying to go legit. The strongest men on there are a werewolf, a PTSD veteran and a flaming queen fry cook.

Let's not talk about Nikita. Everyone is a rotter.

[urox.livejournal.com]

We shouldn't really talk about The Secret Circle either. That's a teen fluff show just like Vampire Diaries. The writing/plot/self destructive nature of main characters has more problems than images of father figures.

[caraig.livejournal.com]

I think the writers of sitcoms took Aristotle's definition of comedy way too much to heart.

Because, while I'm a little ashamed to admit liking a sitcom, what little I remember of Major Dad was enjoyable. I liked that guy. Unfortunately I barely remember more than the one episode where he resigned and became a defense contractor consultant, an episode which was distinctly... critical of the defense industry.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_candide_/]

I once had a discussion with a woman on a web-board, who insisted that "masculinity" was inherently violent. As an example, she pointed out that her son, even at age 3 or 4, would mock-fight with a play-sword or other weapon, attacking imaginary people. Inherently male, inherently violent.

I countered, "How do you know that he's not slaying imaginary monsters, defending his home and family? How do you know that the play-fighting isn't about victory over evil, about the Hero winning the day?" I asserted that Heroics, not violence, are what's inherently male. No, that doesn't mean that women can't be heros, anymore than femininity lacks any violent nature (mother bear defending cubs, anyone?). But the whole story of The Hero's Journey is very much a, "boy's story."

"Proving yourself," be it in strength, wit, indomitability, and/or valor, is a very masculine thing.

And you're right, Elf: popular entertainment isn't depicting masculinity. It just struck me: popular entertainment is more depicting the insecurity of threatened men trying to cling to their white-male-privilege.

[amythis.livejournal.com]

I mostly watch old TV, so I don't have a modern example. I will say that Dan Conner remains one of the best TV dads I've ever seen: strong and brave, yes, but also witty and kind. And I have a soft spot for Gidget's dad from the mid-'60s. (He wasn't "manly" I guess, but he definitely wasn't an idiot.)

[hydrolagus.livejournal.com]

Heroes had some good dads*, but it wasn't a sit-com. I think some of the problem is just in the nature of sit-coms. If you have an adventure/crisis-based program, some of the content comes from the situation and some will come from the interaction of characters who have internal landscapes. You also have a one hour time slot with episodal continuity and the occasional to-be-continued. A sit-com is usually a half-hour slot with little plot continuity. Content is generally broad-brush characters in one-dimensional situations.



*OK, some of them weren't exactly good people, but were at least trying to be competent and honorable on the dad front.