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For those of you unfamiliar with it, J-Lube is a substance available mostly to veterinarians who use it to assist in the birth of calves.

One of the forms in which it comes is basically bouillion cubes: a very dense substance that you dilute with water, whereupon it turns into an insanely slick lubricant useful for getting one's gloved hands into large animals. It's better than any lubricant on the shelves. This makes it popular with kinky people.

It occurred to me that, since you dilute it to make it more slippery, then if you continue to dilute it, according to homeopathy, eventually the entirety of the oceans will be nothing but lubricant.

If homeopathy is true, we are all doomed to one final, crevice-invading sex orgy, and then the world will be washed away in a tide of lube.
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Elf Sternberg

May 2025

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