I'm not addicted, I can stop at anytime!
Feb. 7th, 2003 10:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsWhat a wonderful title for the music for this journal entry! The music itself is enchanting solo piano, the stuff usually sold under "New Age" but hardly so treacly as, say, Hearts of Space. Liz Story has always been one of my more favored composers.
Okay, so I had my date this Friday. I must say that I was unprepared for it. I haven't dated anyone new in six years, not since the disintegration of my last long-term poly relationship.
The woman I had invited out was an acquaintance from a long way back, a friend of my wife's but not someone I had had a lot of time with. She has her own family, husband and two young girls (twins even, quite the handful), and she desperately needed adult time just as much as I did. A time when we could go out and be not parents, but adult friends. Some guys go hang out with "the guys," but I'm an intimacy person-- casual mates don't quite do it for me, but getting to spend time with one person, being close even if not sexual, that's my idea of a good time.
We ate at a lovely Greek restaurant where I made the mistake of ordering something terribly messy and considered it something of a miracle that I managed to get through the entire meal without dribbling some of the delicious, olive-and-pine nut laden sauce, very dark, onto my shirt. She looked quite yummy in her casual 'going out' clothes although, to be sadly honest, five days later I can't remember much of what she was wearing other than that it looked good on her. On the other hand, she has quite a beautiful face with bright, happy eyes, and those I do remember clearly.
Afterward, we wandered up to the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival. This little shindig was being put on by The Wetspot, a local "sex positive community center" (make of that what you will... others have). Apparently the size of the crowd overwhelmed the event organizers, as the line went out the door, up the block and around the corner. A room meant for maybe four hundred was trying to fit two thousand, but, y'know, security folks equipped with riding crops and whips make for excellent crowd control.
But I had a peculiar moment of disconnect. When I socialize, I tend to socialize almost strictly within the leather community. All of my friends, even the geeky ones, are mostly kinky folk, and most of them know one another. Despite my terrible socialization, I know how to introduce people, but I kept forgetting. I felt as if I were peering into a somewhat fractured universe-- I'm on a poly date and nobody in "my" community knows who she is?-- but eventually I got around to remembering to introduce her after she pointedly introduced herself a couple of times.
Afterward, I walked her back to her car, where we said goodnight. Nothing particularly kinky about that. I'm so glad I'm an adult now, and both of us know that it's long past the time where we have to struggle looking for something to say. There are worlds enough, and time, and both of us were mature enough to appreciate it. Both of us were there to figure out how to get into each other's pants, not each other's life, although no matter how much of the former we try, being friends will cause the latter to happen at least a little bit, but there was no sense in pushing it. Intimacy comes on its own terms.
We kissed goodnight. It was a great kiss. The kind that reminds you that there is life beyond work and household chores.
And Elf succumbs to the darkness, or at the very least, on-line quiz culture, with this tasty mortal, er, morsel:
Which Sailor Scout are you?
Okay, so I had my date this Friday. I must say that I was unprepared for it. I haven't dated anyone new in six years, not since the disintegration of my last long-term poly relationship.
The woman I had invited out was an acquaintance from a long way back, a friend of my wife's but not someone I had had a lot of time with. She has her own family, husband and two young girls (twins even, quite the handful), and she desperately needed adult time just as much as I did. A time when we could go out and be not parents, but adult friends. Some guys go hang out with "the guys," but I'm an intimacy person-- casual mates don't quite do it for me, but getting to spend time with one person, being close even if not sexual, that's my idea of a good time.
We ate at a lovely Greek restaurant where I made the mistake of ordering something terribly messy and considered it something of a miracle that I managed to get through the entire meal without dribbling some of the delicious, olive-and-pine nut laden sauce, very dark, onto my shirt. She looked quite yummy in her casual 'going out' clothes although, to be sadly honest, five days later I can't remember much of what she was wearing other than that it looked good on her. On the other hand, she has quite a beautiful face with bright, happy eyes, and those I do remember clearly.
Afterward, we wandered up to the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival. This little shindig was being put on by The Wetspot, a local "sex positive community center" (make of that what you will... others have). Apparently the size of the crowd overwhelmed the event organizers, as the line went out the door, up the block and around the corner. A room meant for maybe four hundred was trying to fit two thousand, but, y'know, security folks equipped with riding crops and whips make for excellent crowd control.
But I had a peculiar moment of disconnect. When I socialize, I tend to socialize almost strictly within the leather community. All of my friends, even the geeky ones, are mostly kinky folk, and most of them know one another. Despite my terrible socialization, I know how to introduce people, but I kept forgetting. I felt as if I were peering into a somewhat fractured universe-- I'm on a poly date and nobody in "my" community knows who she is?-- but eventually I got around to remembering to introduce her after she pointedly introduced herself a couple of times.
Afterward, I walked her back to her car, where we said goodnight. Nothing particularly kinky about that. I'm so glad I'm an adult now, and both of us know that it's long past the time where we have to struggle looking for something to say. There are worlds enough, and time, and both of us were mature enough to appreciate it. Both of us were there to figure out how to get into each other's pants, not each other's life, although no matter how much of the former we try, being friends will cause the latter to happen at least a little bit, but there was no sense in pushing it. Intimacy comes on its own terms.
We kissed goodnight. It was a great kiss. The kind that reminds you that there is life beyond work and household chores.
And Elf succumbs to the darkness, or at the very least, on-line quiz culture, with this tasty mortal, er, morsel:
Which Sailor Scout are you?
