elfs | Anaheim Anecdote: What are you wearing under there?

When you wear a kilt, you get the reactions you expect. One of the boys my troupe asked the predictable: "Are you wearing anything under there?"

I looked him in the eye and said, "I know Storm has had sexual harrasment training at school. So have you. So tell me, if you asked a girl that, would it be sexual harassment?"

"Well... Yeah."

"Why isn't it when you ask me?"

He fidgeted for a second. "Because you're not a girl."

"But what if I liked guys?" I said. "Would it be harassment then?"

That seemed to unnerve him. "I, I guess so."

"Then don't ask the question. Especially not unless you really want an answer."

One of the other chaperones laughed and said, "Sounds like you've been asked that question before."

We were out of earshot of the kids, so I said, "Ya think? We've got a dozen answers. 'Cargo straps,' 'a family of elves.' If the question comes from a guy, the answer is 'Your girlfriend's lipstick.'"

She nearly snorted her coffee at that one.

A little later, one of the kids teased me in a mocking, even-I-don't-believe-it tone by saying, "Sorry about your gay dad, Stormy."

She hugged my arm harder and grinned. "I'm pretty sure he's okay with it."

"Yeah." I tousled her hair, making her pout and grab for her brush. "It's no biggie."