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Omaha and I went to Black Angus down in Federal Way, one of those restaurants that, once upon a time, actually gave a damn about their steaks, but apparently that's fallen by the wayside. It's more like a slightly quieter and less impressive Claim Jumper. The lights all have that annoying 50Hz flicker to them, which was driving my eyes crazy. I seem to be susceptible to that more and more as I get older.

Went to the restroom and the guy in the next urinal over has his Blackberry glued to his ear. "Where are you?" he says. "I thought you'd be at the Black Angus! You're where? Trader Joes? Stay there, I'll be outta here in a minute." I so wanted to lean over and shout, "Give him time, he's got his dick in his hand right now."

Omaha and I gave our orders, including wedge salads-- basically, a tight chunk of iceberg lettuce dribbled with blue cheese, cream, and maybe bacon bits. I noticed an artichoke on the menu, and related to Omaha a recent story about a man who sued a restaurant because the artichoke did not come with instructions. The waitress (gorgeous woman-- black skin, amazing dreads, huge eyes, genuine smile) must have overheard because she told us that, at the last table she waited for, both ordered the same salads and neither knew that you were supposed to cut the wedge into edible portions with a knife. They tried to pry the things apart with their forks.

The prime rib was mediocre-- thin, bland. The horseradish was authentic. The grilled prawns were greasy even before the butter dip. The onion rings were acceptable, but Set and Osiris each ring is 300 calories!. Generally, too much money for too little value.

Date: 2011-01-17 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shunra.livejournal.com
Batter-fried onions are like black-holes for calories.

I once ran into a bloomin' onion at Outback (not my usual style, to put things mildly), so looked it up. 637 calories per 1/4 onion. One full onion out-calories two days of my regular eating patterns.
http://www.livestrong.com/thedailyplate/nutrition-calories/food/outback-steakhouse/blooming-onion/

HERE COMES THE GRAVY PIPE!*

Date: 2011-01-17 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doodlesthegreat.livejournal.com
I so wanted to lean over and shout, "Give him time, he's got his dick in his hand right now."

Which could have backfired if you misspoke and said "he's got my dick in his hand right now."

*At Stuart Andersen's, your name is "Peaches."

Date: 2011-01-18 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eddvick.livejournal.com
You should give in to your impulses more often. At the very least it will be amusing for the rest of us. ;P

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Elf Sternberg

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