Men 35 and up, would you like instant respect and authority? Here's how.

[elfs]

Men 35 years and older, Do you want instant respect and authority from those around you? I recently stumbled upon a technique that I guarantee, unless you're completely hopeless, will make those you encounter in your day to day life, from salesclerks to co-workers, view you with a measure of respect and authority you previously lacked.

The secret is so simple it's ridiculous. If you're already wearing standard business casual (and that's not geek casual t-shirts and shorts), go buy yourself a sport coat.

You don't have to spend a lot of money. Go hit up your local used clothing store. Sport coats, unlike socks and underwear, last forever, and people seem to be turning them in all the time. You'll probably have to try on every coat in the store to find one or two that fit, but your time will be well-spent. For $6.99 each, I bought a dark grey tweed sport coat and a blue blazer.

Almost instantly, people around me started to treat me differently. Clerks behind counters took more time, and were more considerate, and worked harder to get things right. Salespeople came up and asked me if I needed help. People said "sir" to me.

It almost didn't matter what I wore underneath. My pant cuffs could be scruffy, I could be wearing sneakers. I once went out with a pajama top in place of a shirt. The sport coat, unbuttoned, is a shield against further investigation.

You may find one you love but doesn't fit right-- typically, my gorilla arms mean I have to buy one with long sleeves and then have the waist taken in a bit. In that case, a good seamstress can often do the alteration for less than $20.

If you're lucky, you'll stop by Goodwill on a sale tag day and pick up a perfect coat, clean and well-fit, for 99 cents. This happened to me. But a worst-case scenario is less than $30 after dry cleaning and tailoring.

It will be worth it. The world will look upon you and say, "That is not some guy holding onto his adolescence. I will not call him 'dude.' I will say 'sir.' I will show some respect. For that is a man."

All you need to do is replace that childish windbreaker or fleece you're wearing (and really, is it all that comfortable and effective?) with the coat that grown-up men wear.

Comments

[en-ki.livejournal.com]

I will note that this also worked at 25.

[gromm.livejournal.com]

I would guess *especially* at 25. It means you either have intentions or pretenses of success as early as possible.

[solarbird]

Hee hee okay see this is a class awareness moment. For me, sportcoat plus T-shirt means schoolboy. Same with other sportcoat and clean mild scruffyness. Sportcoat plus dirty or ragged means homeless, or possibly fashionista, depending.

Gods forbid you try to do something clever with a tie on top of it. Then I'd be quite sure you had an underage lover hiding out in the car.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

You think? There was an adorable Star Wars tie hanging on the wall adjacent to the jackets. Han, Leia, C3PO... very old-school.

He/she doesn't even have to be underage-- just in the creep bracket (http://xkcd.com/314/).

[autopope.livejournal.com]

Yup, this works.

I have a couple of sports jackets (not coats, in English-English; a coat is waterproof outerwear). One lightweight black linen, for hot weather, and one black velvet one for cooler climes or more formal events. Add a plain black tee shirt, black jeans (not denim), and black shoes, and it's good for just about any social situation where a necktie isn't compulsory. (And as I hate, loathe, and despise neckties and refuse to own one, that means most places.)

I'm not 100% sure why but I think it's something about the cut of the jacket -- as long as it doesn't clash horribly with the rest of your outfit, it pushes enough of the same buttons as a business suit (signifiers for "adult male of sober purpose") without bracketing the rest ("slavishly obeying conservative business caste sartorial rules").

This works for women too

[brandywilliams.livejournal.com]

When I was a road warrior I figured out that when I wear a blazer, everyone treats me like a business person, and clerks are more polite to me. And a blazer is formal wear even if there are sweats underneath.

[urox.livejournal.com]

I dress up when I travel even. I make sure to have comfy clothes, but wear my "bling".

I got my husband to switch from tshirts to button down shirts a long time ago. Similar effect.

Of course, this has now trickled down to our daughter where my husband worries if we don't put her in nice clothes for daycare, they'll have less respect for keeping them clean.

[drewkitty.livejournal.com]

Leather jacket allows me to go on both sides of the line.

Slightly underdressed for formal, can still pass for street punk.

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

So being conformist reaps you the benefits of conformity. Whoda thunk it?

I think perhaps this is just a sad statement on the way people behave more than anything.

I generally try to treat everyone with the same level of respect, even small children. If someone has to put on aires of heteronormative behavior before people will be civil to them, that's more a problem with those people than the individual IMO.

More to the point, it strikes me as being a LOT like victim blaming. You know. "If that girl hadn't dressed like that, those men wouldn't have felt compelled to rape and murder her and use her entrails for a clothes line."

Personally, a big part of why I have funny-colored hair is that it lets me quickly weed-out the superficial people from those who are worth interacting with.

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Oddly, I don't see this as conformity. I'm the only person in my cohort who has deliberately affected a form of dress that is distinctly masculine and classical. The response has been... entertaining.

I just got tired of dressing like a schlub.

[drewkitty.livejournal.com]

How did the commentator get from "sport coat" all the way to "heteronormative behavior" in only four sentences?

I was not aware that a sport coat had a sexual orientation, and am unclear as to what that orientation would be if it did. (I mean, it is in proper use when there is a guy inside it, right?)

As for conformity, someone who dons the trappings of power and then fails to conform while sending all the cues of powerfulness does more to challenge people than a "weird" looking person who unsurprisingly does weird stuff and says weird things.

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

Oddly, not 'dressing like s schlub' is an idea I can get behind a lot more fully. I hate the one-size-fits-all branded tee-shirt 'aesthetic' Much prefer to dress in ways that are visually appealing.

[gromm.livejournal.com]

Conformity would be wearing a T-shirt and jeans these days. Us nerds do that so as not to look nerdy, and fit in with everyone else.

Unfortunately, it means we still look nerdy.

[hydrolagus.livejournal.com]

It's not just the jacket, it's the fit. Most folks don't wear clothes that really fit: not an optimal style and not optimizes for their body. Lots of men in suits don't visually command respect because the suits don't look good. It's really sad with tuxedos. The extra spent on tailoring (or extra time spent hunting) is what pulls it over. It doesn't even have to be conventionally conservative garments or on conventionally "good" bodies--it just needs to fit the body and the person correctly.
Does it bunch or hang in a way you don't like? Do you have to keep tugging at some part of it? Does it sausage in anywhere? Does it itch? Do you feel like a dork in it? Skip it or fix it, but don't wear it as is.

[woggie.livejournal.com]

The problem I've always faced is knowing how a garment is supposed to behave that lets me (and everyone else) know it truly "fits".

[tagryn]

I think it was Paul Fussell in Class who referred to this effect as "layering" - namely, that the additional effort that putting on a tie or wearing a blazer entailed identified the wearer as being more likely to be what he called 'upper-middle class.' He also mirrors what hydrolgaus says, saying that a custom-fitted suit is also more tied to the appearance of higher class than an ill-fitted one, simply because not too long ago a bespoke suit was out of the price range of all but the upper class.

[hydrolagus.livejournal.com]

Even now, well-fitting clothing tends to be more expensive (unless you get lucky) simply because it costs less to manufacture clothing with a baggy or mediocre fit. Good fit usually requires more seams--more labor for sewing, more cloth to fit the less efficient layout. This is especially the case for non-stretch fabric. The garment is made to fit lots of body types kind of OK instead of fewer body types really well. A manufacturer will want more per garment if they have to sell fewer.

[zanfur.livejournal.com]

Blazer plus a kilt just doesn't work well. I can pull it off, but it's definitely not the same effect.

Though, in the last year, a *lot* of people have started calling me "sir". I'm not quite sure what changed. I have a distinct style: Kilt, long socks, nice single-color shirt. The hard parts: Don't wear zippers, laces, wingtip collars, or logos/designs. All fasteners I wear are either snaps, buttons, or buckles. And people call me "sir". I have no idea why. Maybe I look "differently dressed up"?

Jackets for Kilts

[(Anonymous)]

For a kilt you really need a very high-cut jacket Most jackets reach downto the tops of your thighs. A jacket to be worn with a kilt should only reach to your waist.

[gromm.livejournal.com]

I've always been partial to Hefner's smoking jacket, actually. ;)