The Mistress of Sarcasm
May. 15th, 2010 10:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfsOmaha was sitting in my lap, begging for caramel corn.
You have to understand. She made this stuff. It isn't your cracker-jack, run-of-the-mill caramel corn. No, this was caramel crack, stuff so wonderfully balanced between sweet, salt, and fat even I liked it, and usually I hate caramel.
After we'd put Kouryou-chan to bed, she'd ordered me to go into the kitchen, knowing that I could handle being in its divine presence, and seal the stuff in an airtight container and hide it. So I did. Now, she was trying everything just to find out where it was. Finally, at one point she said, "Okay, I give up."
"Good," I said. "Because I have to take a shower. I have to wash my hair and my toes."
"Your what?"
"I gardened today. Barefoot. Have you seen my toes?" I tried to swing my right foot out from underneath me.
"Ow!" she said.
"What?"
"You hurt me!"
I was pretty sure I had done no such thing. "I was trying to show you my toes."
"You hurt me," she insisted.
"You're still not getting any caramel corn in sympathy."
She started laughing from that. Then, from the back of the house, we heard Kouryou-chan's voice shout, "Don't worry, Mommy. I have to live with it every day!"
Omaha and I almost passed out from laughing so hard. Where does that kid get her sense of humor from?
You have to understand. She made this stuff. It isn't your cracker-jack, run-of-the-mill caramel corn. No, this was caramel crack, stuff so wonderfully balanced between sweet, salt, and fat even I liked it, and usually I hate caramel.
After we'd put Kouryou-chan to bed, she'd ordered me to go into the kitchen, knowing that I could handle being in its divine presence, and seal the stuff in an airtight container and hide it. So I did. Now, she was trying everything just to find out where it was. Finally, at one point she said, "Okay, I give up."
"Good," I said. "Because I have to take a shower. I have to wash my hair and my toes."
"Your what?"
"I gardened today. Barefoot. Have you seen my toes?" I tried to swing my right foot out from underneath me.
"Ow!" she said.
"What?"
"You hurt me!"
I was pretty sure I had done no such thing. "I was trying to show you my toes."
"You hurt me," she insisted.
"You're still not getting any caramel corn in sympathy."
She started laughing from that. Then, from the back of the house, we heard Kouryou-chan's voice shout, "Don't worry, Mommy. I have to live with it every day!"
Omaha and I almost passed out from laughing so hard. Where does that kid get her sense of humor from?
