I am a schlub

[elfs]

I think it can be said without contradiction that I am a schlub.

In four weeks I've cranked out two new websites for my new employer. They're essentially microsites feeding off the infrastructure of the mainsite-- the deep content manager for movies was already present and loaded-- but I've demonstrated both strong design sensibilities and a powerful agility in moving toward our major goals. I've created new websites, learned new technologies (AWS, Haystack, Node.js), and even broken out the ol' Wacom Pad of Pleasure.

Which only proves one thing: the months that I was laid off? I was either a neurotic mess who couldn't think straight, or a lazy SOB who didn't want to create anything but cover letters.

Now, how do I change that?

Comments

[woggie.livejournal.com]

It's always easier to create when people are actively appreciating what you're doing. It's even better when they're amazed at what you can do.

[nbarnes.livejournal.com]

Neurotic mess + appreciative audience == genius

[shunra.livejournal.com]

Like a mighty river, you flow better in a groovy channel than over an unmarked plain?

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

being laid off can mess you up

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

Having direction gives a wonderful amount of motivation to some people. Having challenges stimulates the brain.

Being laid off is booooring and doesn't really do that sort of thing. Also, you're good at what you're doing now (coding, designing, etc.) not advertising (i.e. resumes).

That's how I look at it at least.

Harmonic sympathy

[scyllacat.livejournal.com]

It seems to be one of the big questions: How to self-motivate when you're not being pushed by external forces.

A theory: Now, while you have lots of push and juice, start setting aside a little time each day to use some of it for yourself, see if you can learn what it's like when you ARE self-directed + have motivation.

I have very minimal experience myself in getting up and going as much as I think I ought to.... I've been known to spend months out of work by developing spontaneous narcolepsy whenever I hear or say the word "resume."

Also, this week I decided that in mad/genius, genius is "butter side up," and we all know how THAT goes.

No, Elf, You're a Programmer...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_candide_/]

...and we programmers are on the "I" end of the "E-I" Myers-Briggs axis.

That means putting ourselves out there is draining for us. And unless one is an egomaniac, praising yourself (which is all that self-advertisement is) is also really difficult.

So you were not a schlub. You were just exhausted.

I find myself in that very position myself, right now. If I don't plan recovery days for myself, I suddenly find that I'm taking them anyhow, subconsciously and ineffectively.