Watching your past fade, one batch of laundry at a time

[elfs]

Queer \kwi(ə)r\: different in some way that is unique.

Every morning during the winter, I confront a difficult question: what t-shirt should I wear? I confront this question because almost all of my t-shirts are favorites, carefully and thoughtfully collected over the years, and I know that every time I wear them, they wear down more, they fade, and ultimately they die.

I made a photographic collection of some of them on Flickr, ones that are already well on their way towards their inevitable disintegration, and looking over them I feel oddly nostalgic. They fall into one of three categories: sex and S&M, furry, or geek. Most of the geek shirts are from various places I've worked: Spry, CompuServe, F5, and Isilon.

The sex ones are a little understated. Okay, the Queer Nation shirt isn't, but unless you're in the know about "C-Space" or "Beyond the Edge," you have no idea what those shirts are for. Still, they were as useful for signalling back when signalling was necessary^[1].

The Magician

The furry ones are the most diverse, although oddly given the whole anti-fur attitude on the Internet I worry most about wearing them. Since I seem to have a mostly normal life, and so do most of the furries I know, I've never understood why the stereotype outlasted its original casting. I suppose I fit many of the stereotypes, as I'm attracted to both men and women (although not in equal volume, I've long known).

We like to hold onto the things of the past. I'm a very utilitarian person in some ways, and the things that fill my life are things I can use. I do collect things to look at and listen to, but often the soundworthiness of a piece I measure by how much it charges me while I work, and the utility of a piece of art I measure by how many ideas it sparks in my head. I collect these T-shirts because they say something about me, and I fear for their demise because I fear that when they go I'll no longer have a grip on the subcultures they represent.

It's also true that the subcultures they represent no longer exist: I can go to a Furry convention and nobody will know who the Hell I am. A new generation has come into being that seems embarassed by what its progenitors were up to. The S&M subculture is so completely smeared into the mainstream that people no longer flinch that much when they learn there's a club for that in their city. Oh, that's just what people do these days. I go to Furry conventions and people aren't even selling t-shirts, nor for that matter are the nightclubs and S&M dungeons that used to put out wink-and-nod articles of clothing that let us wink and nod at one another.

Maybe I'm just complaining about getting old. Or being a parent and incapable of getting out more often and buying more t-shirts. Or being jaded and not wanting these symbols of belonging anymore. Whatever it is, it's annoying, and for me, profoundly sad.

---

^[1]Pascal Bruckner opines in his article The Love of Lust that the current zeitgeist is one in which we're afraid to admit that we're not getting laid. I suppose there's something to that.

Comments

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

Every morning during the winter,

OK, dumb question: You don't wear t-shirts in summer?

[elfs.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do. But in the summer, they can perform the signaling activity for which I buy them. In the winter, they're under layers of sweaters and stuff, and nobody gets to see them. I just hate the idea of wearing them out.

I suppose I could go to the Salvation Army and get a bunch of T-shirts I don't like for the season, but that doesn't appeal to me either.

[mrf-arch.livejournal.com]

A new generation has come into being that seems embarassed by what its progenitors were up to.

Has there ever been a generation that wasn't embarrassed by what it's progenitors were up to? :-)

[fallenpegasus]

This is actually kind of a new phenomenon.

The more usual situation is that the kids-these-days think that the old-folks were a bunch of stuffy buzzkills who didn't have sex.

[edichka2.livejournal.com]

I think I still have my "OCSID SCKUS" t-shirt from seventh grade -- about ten sizes too small now.
- E

[ionotter.livejournal.com]

Hey little boy...wanna piece of candy? (http://shirt.woot.com/)

Even better, you can have your Derby (http://shirt.woot.com/Derby/Default.aspx), or Witness the Reckoning! (http://shirt.woot.com/Blog/?cat=reckoning)

I was getting all set to argue with you about furry shirts not being wise, when I realized I don't wear them all that often either. Some of them I do, but many are relegated to staying in the closet until conventions come around. Although, I have to say, I'd definitely wear The Magician.

That's an OLD t-shirt, from back in the day!

[(Anonymous)]

And here I thought I was the only weirdo who debated whether or not to wear a generation of T-shirts that's starting to fade away. They are surprisingly strong connections to previous outer layers of me.

[trinsf.livejournal.com]

ewhac has a vast collection of shirts that have never been worn. He doesn't wear tshirts, but he's gotten them from many events, organizations, and companies. So, they sit on shelves in his closet, like a fabric time capsule.

[fallenpegasus]

I have to admit, I don't wear what furry t-shirts I have left for about the same reason, and got rid of most of them in one of my recent get-rid-of-stuff purges.

I do still have one carefully packed away that is a bit over the top and extreme, but is a wonderful signal, because ONLY people who get it, will get it, and everyone else, never will.

At least until Google Goggles are everywhere, and Google can search by image...

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

Somewhere I saw a suggestion to turn the t-shirts that one loves and doesn't want to wear into oblivion, into decorative pillows. I actually did that with one t-shirt once.

[bldrnrpdx.livejournal.com]

I've done this with several over the years. I have to remember to turn the "Daddy Loves Me" shirt around when my father comes to visit.