This years Literary Bad Sex awards are out!

[elfs]

And while I agree that Philip Roth’s The Humbling deserves first place, I have to hold a special place in my heart for Ten Storey Love Song:

Meanwhile, down in Vaginaland, Mr Condom’s beginning to feel a bit iffy. He’s overheating. For some reason, the shagging seems to be twice as fast this evening, and he grimaces as he gets flung willy-nilly in and out of the pink tunnel. He starts getting friction burns, hanging onto Bobby’s stiff penis for dear life, headbutting Georgie’s cervix at 180 beats per minute. ‘Help me!’ he yells in the darkness, feeling himself melting. The sex only seems to be getting faster though, and Mr Condom squeezes his eyes shut as Bobby groans and the friction starts getting unbearable and Mr Condom thinks he’s going to be sick and the searing pain the searing pain and Bobby groans again and suddenly squirts a gallon of white molten lava from his Jap’s eye, exploding through Mr Condom’s heavy reservoir end and Mr Condom screams and screams and vomits ice cream into Georgie’s vagina. Shivering and spasming, Bobby suddenly feels the endorphins kick in and he falls onto the carpet with a happy bump.

This entry was automatically cross-posted from Elf's writing journal, Pendorwright.com. Feel free to comment on either LiveJournal or Pendorwright.

Comments

[gromm.livejournal.com]

Um. I couldn't get past the second sentence. And even then, that was by forcing myself. I also had to scroll down just to post this reply.

Vaginaland. Vaginaland?!? Who the fuck is this turd, a 9 year old kid?

[(Anonymous)]

クリスマスに会社を辞めるつもり。

[herewiss13.livejournal.com]

Ok...ow. That _is_ really bad.

[amythis.livejournal.com]

That was a special kind of horrible. And I want to hear "Meanwhile, down in Vaginaland" read by Waylon Jennings in Dukes of Hazzard narrator-style.

[littleone66.livejournal.com]

On the contrary... I personally thought it pretty hilarious. :)

YMMV